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General < General
Need advice
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
Ok so I messed up was under the influence at work nearly a week ago my manager could tell hes really pissed 

I wasnt sober for the entire first three months I was hired on and I was getting my shit together, he acknowledged that and even told me he was proud, we were on good terms

Now hes upset and still not over it I mean I dont blame him but i feel so much remorse and guilt, i went quiet when he said today "i may be old but I'm mature and show up sober" I mean fuck me shit 

What should I do 

Just... let it go, continue to stay sober (havent used since), and be a model employee, or should I like... actually confront him and apologize? 

Idk if apologizing is good timing rn I'm on the fence but I hope he knows I feel horrible lol
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 19-08-2021 23:41
Account deleted




wrote:
Apologize for showing up at work not sober, and continue to stay sober. 
Date: 19-08-2021 23:42
Private
World famous



Barbarella wrote:
Nesta wrote:
Apologize for showing up at work not sober, and continue to stay sober. 
this.
the apology means nothing without changed behavior, but the changed behavior is less obvious without the apology 
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 19-08-2021 23:44
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Nesta wrote:
Apologize for showing up at work not sober, and continue to stay sober. 
this.
the apology means nothing without changed behavior, but the changed behavior is less obvious without the apology 
Yeah that's where I'm on the fence about apologizing, cuz I can say sorry but it doesnt mean shit unless I can prove with actions I've learned from my stupidity, so maybe I should give it time, not sure saying sorry would mean much to him rn 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 20-08-2021 01:46
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
Also I dont want him thinking I'm looking for sympathy or forgiveness idk how to apologize in a way that shows I admit full accountability and emphasize with his anger cuz I mean I imagine hes heard "I'll never do that again!" before from a person who defied thst promise lol 

Idk what to say I guess
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 20-08-2021 01:48
Private
National star



Sylvan wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Also I dont want him thinking I'm looking for sympathy or forgiveness idk how to apologize in a way that shows I admit full accountability and emphasize with his anger cuz I mean I imagine hes heard "I'll never do that again!" before from a person who defied thst promise lol 

Idk what to say I guess
Just tell him the truth or don't apologize at all

If you tell him something with the intent to make you look better and he doesn't believe you  you won't do yourself any favors with that. 
16
Posts: 17933
Date: 20-08-2021 01:54
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Also I dont want him thinking I'm looking for sympathy or forgiveness idk how to apologize in a way that shows I admit full accountability and emphasize with his anger cuz I mean I imagine hes heard "I'll never do that again!" before from a person who defied thst promise lol 

Idk what to say I guess
If you tell him something with the intent to make you look better 
Yeah I'm like afraid hes gonna think that 

Lol 

But I feel genuine remorse and shame I really do I dont eant him to forgive me I want him to know I seriously plan to hold myself accountable in the future cuz that kinda shit ain't ok and its disrespectful to him and the chances hes given me 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 20-08-2021 02:07
MissLondon
World famous



MissLondon wrote:
Since it’s not the first time
and you were shaded in a meeting 
I wouldn’t say shit because it
might infuriate him even more.
At this point, talk is cheap
let your actions speak for you
so he’s reminded why you deserved 
the raise!
good luck! 🤞 
20
Posts: 27725
Date: 20-08-2021 02:08
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
Since it’s not the first time
and you were shaded in a meeting 
I wouldn’t say shit because it
might infuriate him even more.
At this point, talk is cheap
let your actions speak for you
so he’s reminded why you deserved 
the raise!
good luck! 🤞 
Yeah exactly will it piss him off more? 

But I've just never seen him this angry, nor for this long, he usually let's it go, it's been a week and hes still obviously pissed as shit 

So I cant tell if maybe an apology is actually pertinent here but maybe he needs his space 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 20-08-2021 02:11
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
After mulling this over I decided the best thing I can do is acknowledge I fucked up, let him know I understand I let him down and violated his trust, that he deserves responsible employees that arent a liability, and that its up to me to stay sober from now on, and that any subsequent consequence is on me. 

Idk I think that's far more sincere than saying sorry. Sorry is an empty platitude at this point 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 20-08-2021 04:35
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