how do i go out alone and talk to ppl - Forum

Private
World famous

Barbarella wrote:
and not be just totally socially paralyzed
help i need to get out

Private
Youtube star

Snakkes wrote:
are we talking like, random people like cashiers and such?

Private
World famous

Barbarella wrote:

Snakkes wrote:
are we talking like, random people like cashiers and such?

I am going to a bar

Private
Youtube star

Snakkes wrote:

Barbarella wrote:

Snakkes wrote:
are we talking like, random people like cashiers and such?

I am going to a bar

what usually helps me is that yeah, people pay attention to you, but they always pay more attention to themselves. so at the end of the day when they're lying in bed, thinking about the day's events, they won't be thinking of that one silly thing you accidentally said. they'll probably too caught up worrying about how THEY acted, if that makes any sense. sorry it's kinda ramble-y

Private
World famous

Barbarella wrote:
but like
how do i roll up
join in
be a part of this social setting rather than just a bystander

MissLondon
Queen of Queens

MissLondon wrote:
Girl, what?
I know you are not talking
to dudes that you match up with
and asking this

anyway, it’s no different
and dudes approach me
so it’s not like you’re really
putting yourself out there.
when I was single and wanted
to chat, I’d sit at the bar
and it just happened 🤷🏾‍♀️

Private
World famous

Barbarella wrote:

MissLondon wrote:
Girl, what?
I know you are not talking
to dudes that you match up with
and asking this

anyway, it’s no different
and dudes approach me
so it’s not like you’re really
putting yourself out there.
when I was single and wanted
to chat, I’d sit at the bar
and it just happened 🤷🏾‍♀️

The people I meet online and on apps I think is different...That barrier of technology between us.

No one has ever actually approached me in a bar and spoken to me, ever.
It's like I'm invisible.
So whatever I do I clearly have to initiate conversation.

Private
World famous

Barbarella wrote:

MissLondon wrote:
Girl, what?
I know you are not talking
to dudes that you match up with
and asking this

anyway, it’s no different
and dudes approach me
so it’s not like you’re really
putting yourself out there.
when I was single and wanted
to chat, I’d sit at the bar
and it just happened 🤷🏾‍♀️

The people I meet online and on apps I think is different...That barrier of technology between us.

No one has ever actually approached me in a bar and spoken to me, ever.
It's like I'm invisible.
So whatever I do I clearly have to initiate conversation.

tbh I think the dudes who hit me up online can sense that something is wrong with me and wanna use that lol

Private
Youtube star

Snakkes wrote:
well what I would always do (if you plan on drinking) is ask someone what they have and be like "oh idk what to get that looks good" or something. it's easy to start a conversation by asking for a recommendation

Private
World famous

Barbarella wrote:

MissLondon wrote:
Girl, what?
I know you are not talking
to dudes that you match up with
and asking this

anyway, it’s no different
and dudes approach me
so it’s not like you’re really
putting yourself out there.
when I was single and wanted
to chat, I’d sit at the bar
and it just happened 🤷🏾‍♀️

The people I meet online and on apps I think is different...That barrier of technology between us.

No one has ever actually approached me in a bar and spoken to me, ever.
It's like I'm invisible.
So whatever I do I clearly have to initiate conversation.

lol also i give of big lesbian vibes so I simply do not expect dudes to hit on me thats fine I just wanna make new friends

MissLondon
Queen of Queens

MissLondon wrote:

Barbarella wrote:

MissLondon wrote:
Girl, what?
I know you are not talking
to dudes that you match up with
and asking this

anyway, it’s no different
and dudes approach me
so it’s not like you’re really
putting yourself out there.
when I was single and wanted
to chat, I’d sit at the bar
and it just happened 🤷🏾‍♀️

The people I meet online and on apps I think is different...That barrier of technology between us.

No one has ever actually approached me in a bar and spoken to me, ever.
It's like I'm invisible.
So whatever I do I clearly have to initiate conversation.

lol also i give of big lesbian vibes so I simply do not expect dudes to hit on me thats fine I just wanna make new friends

Maybe try switching up
the bar/town city?
or maybe you missed the signs?
iidk I’ve asked random stuff
about the bar, band etc
as long as you’re not crying
about your ex or something weird
you should be good

also, do you work the crowd
or just stand/sit in 1 place?

Private
World famous

Barbarella wrote:

MissLondon wrote:

Barbarella wrote:

Barbarella wrote:
The people I meet online and on apps I think is different...That barrier of technology between us.

No one has ever actually approached me in a bar and spoken to me, ever.
It's like I'm invisible.
So whatever I do I clearly have to initiate conversation.

lol also i give of big lesbian vibes so I simply do not expect dudes to hit on me thats fine I just wanna make new friends

Maybe try switching up
the bar/town city?
or maybe you missed the signs?
iidk I’ve asked random stuff
about the bar, band etc
as long as you’re not crying
about your ex or something weird
you should be good

also, do you work the crowd
or just stand/sit in 1 place?

I tend to shuffle between smoking outside and standing inside, but yah I guess I barely move around the room.

MissLondon
Queen of Queens

MissLondon wrote:

Barbarella wrote:

MissLondon wrote:

Barbarella wrote:
lol also i give of big lesbian vibes so I simply do not expect dudes to hit on me thats fine I just wanna make new friends

Maybe try switching up
the bar/town city?
or maybe you missed the signs?
iidk I’ve asked random stuff
about the bar, band etc
as long as you’re not crying
about your ex or something weird
you should be good

also, do you work the crowd
or just stand/sit in 1 place?

I tend to shuffle between smoking outside and standing inside, but yah I guess I barely move around the room.

Do you at least talk to
the people outside?
do you dance?

Metalcutesolid
Youtube star

metalcutesolid wrote:

Snakkes wrote:

Barbarella wrote:

Snakkes wrote:
are we talking like, random people like cashiers and such?

I am going to a bar

what usually helps me is that yeah, people pay attention to you, but they always pay more attention to themselves. so at the end of the day when they're lying in bed, thinking about the day's events, they won't be thinking of that one silly thing you accidentally said. they'll probably too caught up worrying about how THEY acted, if that makes any sense. sorry it's kinda ramble-y

this ^
realizing that people barely notice you has saved me a lot of anxiety

Private
World famous

Barbarella wrote:

MissLondon wrote:

Barbarella wrote:

MissLondon wrote:
Maybe try switching up
the bar/town city?
or maybe you missed the signs?
iidk I’ve asked random stuff
about the bar, band etc
as long as you’re not crying
about your ex or something weird
you should be good

also, do you work the crowd
or just stand/sit in 1 place?

I tend to shuffle between smoking outside and standing inside, but yah I guess I barely move around the room.

Do you at least talk to
the people outside?
do you dance?

I never dance, no one does at these shows. And I don't know what to say. I think that's my problem.
I may try a different bar

MissLondon
Queen of Queens

MissLondon wrote:

Barbarella wrote:

MissLondon wrote:

Barbarella wrote:
I tend to shuffle between smoking outside and standing inside, but yah I guess I barely move around the room.

Do you at least talk to
the people outside?
do you dance?

I never dance, no one does at these shows. And I don't know what to say. I think that's my problem.
I may try a different bar

Just come back to Florida
where fuck bois grab your hand
as you come thru the door of the bar/club lol