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General < General
Cope with the death of a loved one
Hungover
National star



hungover wrote:
Tw: Suicide.


So, three years ago my father figure killed himself. This week is his anniversary,
and it's still one of the most difficult weeks of the year, despite it
being three years ago.
I can't stop thinking about him, he was everything my parents never were and never will be. He's the only person
I've never doubted loved me, and now he's gone.

how do I make this week easier for myself?
How do I stop mourning when it's been three fucking years?
16
Posts: 3687
Date: 08-12-2021 13:38
Private
National star



Miguel wrote:
i can relate so much with you, this week ive been mourning my dear friend who commited suicide around 5-6 years ago. all i can tell you is that you should really try to go to therapy, if you arent already. theres not really anything you can do by yourself to make things easier, because its a really difficult situation and i do believe that you need professionals to guide you
i hope from the bottom of my heart that you can heal someday, and that you will find peace in your soul. take a lot of care, and im really sorry for your loss
15
Posts: 2227
Date: 08-12-2021 13:45
Hungover
National star



hungover wrote:
DUCKBOY wrote:
i can relate so much with you, this week ive been mourning my dear friend who commited suicide around 5-6 years ago. all i can tell you is that you should really try to go to therapy, if you arent already. theres not really anything you can do by yourself to make things easier, because its a really difficult situation and i do believe that you need professionals to guide you
i hope from the bottom of my heart that you can heal someday, and that you will find peace in your soul. take a lot of care, and im really sorry for your loss
I am in therapy, I'm seeing my contact person tomorrow and I do plan on talking to him about it.
Right now the plan is to go to his gravesite with my best friend and drink some of his favourite beers..

I'm sorry for your loss too, it's one of the most difficult ways to lose someone in my opinion.
16
Posts: 3687
Date: 08-12-2021 13:48
MissLondon
Queen of Queens



MissLondon wrote:
It’s been 7 years since I lost my dad
and I STILL miss him
So I’m  not sure if one ever
stops “mourning”…idk, I think it’s 
a dull ache that never goes away
because grief is love with no place to go
but you learn in various ways to deal tho.
Sorry for your loss🙏
20
Posts: 27725
Date: 08-12-2021 14:00
Meister
National star



Meister wrote:
Grief takes time, somedays you are angry at the person. Somedays you are sad and somedays you hate the person. It will be better, time heals pain and it such a cliche line but its true. Somedays i hate everything and the next day im sad. I go to the grave, lit a candle and talks to the grave. 
The two first years are the worst, you have so much to tell, so much to ask.
There are sometimes that i forget that they are gone and it hurts.
12
Posts: 1941
Date: 08-12-2021 14:53
Private
National star



kagura wrote:
i'm sorry to hear that. same thing happened to me, my stepdad killed himself 5 years ago. well for me it's probably different, because i wasn't exactly in good terms with him and just days before he killed himself i told my mother i'm never gonna visit home again if he's there. well oh boi 
but it doesn't mean i don't ever miss him. after all he raised me as his own and i have more memories with him that i've with my own father. i really could need his advices rightnow. 
the fact that he chose to end his life? i'm fine with that. it was indeed his choice to do that. obviously i wish there were way to save him, but there wasn't. nobody can know exactly what he's been through, but i can totally understand that he couldn't bare his own mind.  

i've found my ways to deal with death by reading buddhism philosophy. no death, no fear by thich nhat hanh is something i highly recommend if you're up for reading. 
if you're into gaming or even if not, i still recommend game called spiritfarer. i can't even begin to explain what that game means to me. "Spiritfarer® is a cozy management game about dying" that sums it up  
14
Posts: 7616
Date: 08-12-2021 14:54
Kitten
Popstar



kitten wrote:
i lost my 18 year old brother in 2019, i found him, he overd+sed. everyday is still hard, especially the holidays. i just cried even yesterday. it still doesn't feel real. nothing really helps me, i'm severely depressed but having people around to comfort you is always nice, even if they don't understand.
17
Posts: 2623
Date: 08-12-2021 14:57
Cult
Youtube star



cult wrote:
i'm sorry you're going through that. i've went through pretty much the same thing, my dad killed himself 8 yrs ago (8 yrs next week) and i can confirm you'll never stop missing him, but at some point it wont hurt as much and the mourn will hopefully turn into happy memories of what once was

wish you all the best
16
Posts: 10071
Date: 08-12-2021 14:59
Hungover
National star



hungover wrote:
Update: My best friend and I went to the graveyard where he's buried, drank his favourite beer and talked. It was nice.
16
Posts: 3687
Date: 08-12-2021 19:32
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