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Asmi wrote:
This is a rambling text about mental health, a bit of my journey and why I think routines are important, as well as what I think can help in building your own routine.
Though I'm very much high functioning in my day to day life nowadays, when I have a routine going, I used to not be able to take care of myself before.
This was when a "family member" decided to disrupt the routine I had by staying home, drinking alcohol. Not being able to take care of myself and having to deal with alcoholism made me very much depressed, and as such I decided to move away from home to a supportive relative instead.
In this environment I was able to get therapeutic help and an investigation for adhd/autism. At the same time I was able to get all my schoolwork done, since I'm doing distance learning. The investigation is still ongoing, but I'm hoping it will help me understand myself one way or another.
I tried starting distance learning when I was in the toxic environment, but I was barely hanging by a thread. Now, I am able to do my schoolwork and maybe even excel at it. I have a better picture of what is going on!
So, if you find yourself in a toxic environment like I used to be in I ask of you to try and find alternative housing. Getting away from that environment, and then try to focus on you and your priorities is something that you in the end, won't regret.
If you are unable to move away, starting with being "selfish" is a good start. Getting outside of the home as much as possible, but also avoiding other toxic environments is also an option.
If you first priority is to get basic hygiene into your routine, that is fine. I used to not be able to shower as often as one should, which did affect my mental health. Now I shower daily, brush my teeth twice a day and brush my hair. But this routine took around a year to get finished. Creating a new way of life is not easy, and definitely not linear progress.
Focus on adding healthy habits into your routine rather than taking away bad habits, especially in the beginning. I don't eat healthy, but my relative has helped me to eat routinely. I will focus more on what I eat when I've gotten the routine in.
How do you know what your routine is? It is when something is second nature to do once you wake up. In the best case it makes you feel accomplished and ready for the day. A bad routine is something that you do automatically, daily, that just drains your energy. A clear example nowadays is scrolling on TikTok, which I myself fell into that trap but was able to barely get out of.
The very first things I focused on getting into my routine was at the beginning of the day, since it sets the tone for the rest of it. Waking up, making the bed, taking clothes on and eating breakfast.
Once I felt as though this was something that was natural to do, I was able to build off of it. After breakfast, I might go brush my teeth and then sit behind my computer. Once this felt natural, I added the habit of going into the website where I have all my school assignments.
This was how I was able to get into the habit of doing schoolwork. Instead of having the uncertainty of 'will i or will i not be able to do schoolwork today'. I was in the habit of 'might as well check it out' that often leads to doing the work.
Sometimes, you might have too high standards of what your routine should be, and this often makes it feel way too overwhelming to get done. Breaking it into much, much smaller steps and putting all your focus into that 1 or 2 things is going to in the end paint a big and beautiful picture. Praise yourself for the things you were able to do, and don't nag over the things you didn't do.
We have to basically Pavlov ourselves, rewarding oneself after every thing done. It might sound 'silly' but it actually works.
You can also build confidence in yourself with a similar method. Pointing out the things that are good your personality and looks, and then rewarding oneself with something you like to do will in the long run build your confidence.
I used to not be able ot go outside without a full beat of makeup on my face, but nowadays all I need is a bit of mascara and I like my face. I still do full makeup looks, but it is more for adding something fun to my whole look when going out with friends.
Having authentic friendships is something that is not easily attainable, but very much needed in anyones life. One can intentionally try to build them in different ways. Honesty is the number one thing that I recommend. I agree, that you do feel vulnerable in that moment, but honesty is often met with honesty if it is an individual that is worth keeping in your life. This way, you build trust with your friends and can have deeper moments that you will cherish later in life.
Honesty with yourself is something that anyone and everyone needs to work on. Intentionally questioning yourself will help you grow in the long run. Testing your beliefs, questioning your identity is something scary, but also healthy to do. "Why do I think this way", "How does this help me?". Seeking out counter arguments for ideals of different kinds can help you grow in you own mindset.
In the end, it is all about freeing yourself from your environment as well as your own mind. Sometimes, we feel comfortable in the things we know. But challenging yourself, bit by bit, will help you tremendously in the long run.
What are your thoughts on this?
This is a rambling text about mental health, a bit of my journey and why I think routines are important, as well as what I think can help in building your own routine.
Though I'm very much high functioning in my day to day life nowadays, when I have a routine going, I used to not be able to take care of myself before.
This was when a "family member" decided to disrupt the routine I had by staying home, drinking alcohol. Not being able to take care of myself and having to deal with alcoholism made me very much depressed, and as such I decided to move away from home to a supportive relative instead.
In this environment I was able to get therapeutic help and an investigation for adhd/autism. At the same time I was able to get all my schoolwork done, since I'm doing distance learning. The investigation is still ongoing, but I'm hoping it will help me understand myself one way or another.
I tried starting distance learning when I was in the toxic environment, but I was barely hanging by a thread. Now, I am able to do my schoolwork and maybe even excel at it. I have a better picture of what is going on!
So, if you find yourself in a toxic environment like I used to be in I ask of you to try and find alternative housing. Getting away from that environment, and then try to focus on you and your priorities is something that you in the end, won't regret.
If you are unable to move away, starting with being "selfish" is a good start. Getting outside of the home as much as possible, but also avoiding other toxic environments is also an option.
If you first priority is to get basic hygiene into your routine, that is fine. I used to not be able to shower as often as one should, which did affect my mental health. Now I shower daily, brush my teeth twice a day and brush my hair. But this routine took around a year to get finished. Creating a new way of life is not easy, and definitely not linear progress.
Focus on adding healthy habits into your routine rather than taking away bad habits, especially in the beginning. I don't eat healthy, but my relative has helped me to eat routinely. I will focus more on what I eat when I've gotten the routine in.
How do you know what your routine is? It is when something is second nature to do once you wake up. In the best case it makes you feel accomplished and ready for the day. A bad routine is something that you do automatically, daily, that just drains your energy. A clear example nowadays is scrolling on TikTok, which I myself fell into that trap but was able to barely get out of.
The very first things I focused on getting into my routine was at the beginning of the day, since it sets the tone for the rest of it. Waking up, making the bed, taking clothes on and eating breakfast.
Once I felt as though this was something that was natural to do, I was able to build off of it. After breakfast, I might go brush my teeth and then sit behind my computer. Once this felt natural, I added the habit of going into the website where I have all my school assignments.
This was how I was able to get into the habit of doing schoolwork. Instead of having the uncertainty of 'will i or will i not be able to do schoolwork today'. I was in the habit of 'might as well check it out' that often leads to doing the work.
Sometimes, you might have too high standards of what your routine should be, and this often makes it feel way too overwhelming to get done. Breaking it into much, much smaller steps and putting all your focus into that 1 or 2 things is going to in the end paint a big and beautiful picture. Praise yourself for the things you were able to do, and don't nag over the things you didn't do.
We have to basically Pavlov ourselves, rewarding oneself after every thing done. It might sound 'silly' but it actually works.
You can also build confidence in yourself with a similar method. Pointing out the things that are good your personality and looks, and then rewarding oneself with something you like to do will in the long run build your confidence.
I used to not be able ot go outside without a full beat of makeup on my face, but nowadays all I need is a bit of mascara and I like my face. I still do full makeup looks, but it is more for adding something fun to my whole look when going out with friends.
Having authentic friendships is something that is not easily attainable, but very much needed in anyones life. One can intentionally try to build them in different ways. Honesty is the number one thing that I recommend. I agree, that you do feel vulnerable in that moment, but honesty is often met with honesty if it is an individual that is worth keeping in your life. This way, you build trust with your friends and can have deeper moments that you will cherish later in life.
Honesty with yourself is something that anyone and everyone needs to work on. Intentionally questioning yourself will help you grow in the long run. Testing your beliefs, questioning your identity is something scary, but also healthy to do. "Why do I think this way", "How does this help me?". Seeking out counter arguments for ideals of different kinds can help you grow in you own mindset.
In the end, it is all about freeing yourself from your environment as well as your own mind. Sometimes, we feel comfortable in the things we know. But challenging yourself, bit by bit, will help you tremendously in the long run.
What are your thoughts on this?
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