Break up help - Forum - Virtual Popstar

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Clegane wrote:
How would I go about it to get the best positive outcome and spare his feelings as much as possible

Does anyone have any advice? 🙏 this is my first relationship and it's been a full year

My heart isn't that set on it yet and I still love him wholy but now I have an interest for another man at the same time as for him and given that he has cheated on me before I just don't think it's a good thing to continue this relationship
Especially given all the negative aspects such as alcoholism, 16 year age difference, quick to anger, disability, infertility, huge debt, unhealthy living style, etc

I want a safe and gentle future for myself
I don't think I can find that with him

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Utdatert wrote:
just tell him that

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Claire wrote:
i dont worry about mens feelings theyll figure it out and he didnt worry about mine

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Sylvan wrote:
Is he in a good-ish headspace at the moment? I would do it somewhere semi-public so you can leave any time you need to. Just be honest and make it quick. Do you still have stuff of his does he have stuff of yours at his place?

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Clegane wrote:

Sylvan wrote:
Is he in a good-ish headspace at the moment? I would do it somewhere semi-public so you can leave any time you need to. Just be honest and make it quick. Do you still have stuff of his does he have stuff of yours at his place?

Sadly he isn't... he's still having a very hard time and says I am his reason to continue living and that kind of stuff...
He's also been financially dependent on both his parents and me since a while and I can't afford it anymore either, given how I also have to drive almost 3 hours over there each weekend, that alone is expensive already )-: but yeah... I feel guilty leaving him to figure out his affairs all on his own but he's 37... it shouldn't be my burden anymore to keep his life together

I don't have any stuff of his
He has lots of stuff from me, such as coffe machine, fridge.. (he had to move at the beginning of the year and has been unable to work since then) but he can keep all that for all I care
It's just sad to see all these gifts from me there, like plants, pictures of us/me, motivational things I wrote on his whiteboard, when I know those things won't bring him any comfort anymore and will soon be gone

It's just..
I don't know...

He will be in a very bad place when I leave, potentially dangerous to himself even and I feel guilty about that being my fault
Leaving him just because I want something better for my own future

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Clegane wrote:

Utdatert wrote:
just tell him that

That is a good idea

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Sylvan wrote:

Clegane wrote:

Sylvan wrote:
Is he in a good-ish headspace at the moment? I would do it somewhere semi-public so you can leave any time you need to. Just be honest and make it quick. Do you still have stuff of his does he have stuff of yours at his place?

Sadly he isn't... he's still having a very hard time and says I am his reason to continue living and that kind of stuff...
He's also been financially dependent on both his parents and me since a while and I can't afford it anymore either, given how I also have to drive almost 3 hours over there each weekend, that alone is expensive already )-: but yeah... I feel guilty leaving him to figure out his affairs all on his own but he's 37... it shouldn't be my burden anymore to keep his life together

I don't have any stuff of his
He has lots of stuff from me, such as coffe machine, fridge.. (he had to move at the beginning of the year and has been unable to work since then) but he can keep all that for all I care
It's just sad to see all these gifts from me there, like plants, pictures of us/me, motivational things I wrote on his whiteboard, when I know those things won't bring him any comfort anymore and will soon be gone

It's just..
I don't know...

He will be in a very bad place when I leave, potentially dangerous to himself even and I feel guilty about that being my fault
Leaving him just because I want something better for my own future

He is not your responsibility. You deserve to have a good life. He is not a good person if he guilt trips you and expects you to pay for his shit.

Maybe call his parents if you think he will pressure you or threaten to do something.

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spynation wrote:
sixteen year age gap um im CONCERNED for u... get out of that situation asap

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spynation wrote:
and he depends on the woman to fund his shitty lifestyle wow i cannot wait for the day u make a thread officially declaring ur over this bum. best of luck bb

MissLondon
Queen of Queens

MissLondon wrote:
If you’re his reason for everything
where was the energy and same concern
when he cheated?

it’s not me, it’s YOU is all
that I could be bothered to give
good luck

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Delusion1111111 wrote:
u can do it , stay strong. remind urself what ur life will look like if u dont do this n then think about how ur life COULD look if u go thru w this

i doubt he is going to take it well, no matter how u do it . ive been hoping u break up w him for so long, rooting for u + ur future ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Account deleted

wrote:
I think you just got to say it. It sounds like it will be good for you. His situation is unfortunate, but you deserve to live a life that will make you happy too. Don't stay because you pity him or anything. You have so many good reasons to leave alas why it doesn't work out and you've mentioned them all yourself. It's ofc gonna be a process of mourning your relationship there, and it's entirely natural and will probably take some time, but you got this!!