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how to not be pushy
Private
World famous



bee wrote:
hi vp im sorry you have to deal with me talking about a boi constantly but theres nothing you can do about it 

so a week ago when we parted we decided not to pursue things further right. but we have been texting every day since and its been so nice so i couldnt help myself and i asked if maybe he wanted to see me again. he said he did and agreed it could be fun. but then we didnt talk more about it. i know he has three weeks left of summer vacation before he starts a new job and i just really wanna see him in that time. do i wait for him to take initiative now? or do i bring it up again? today? in a week? uughghhhghghdsyshsgsjdkkf

also note for danish people, when i asked if he wanted to meet he said 'det vil jeg "da" gerne' and when i said maybe it would be fun he said 'det ville "da" være hyggeligt ja' 
am i just fucking overthinking that da or is it indicating only mild interest compared to me

sincerely, 
🤡
18
Posts: 13567
Date: 08-07-2022 16:51
Private
International star



wug wrote:
about the note for danish people i'm like yikes i use da everywhere (norwegian tho) like "hvordan har du det da" (how are you 'da') "hva tenker du da" (what are you thinking 'da') 

idk about the other things because it's very outside what i'm familiar with good luck 
in my head denmark is so tiny i'm like it's just going for a walk and hanging innit 
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 08-07-2022 16:59
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bee wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
about the note for danish people i'm like yikes i use da everywhere (norwegian tho) like "hvordan har du det da" (how are you 'da') "hva tenker du da" (what are you thinking 'da') 

idk about the other things because it's very outside what i'm familiar with good luck 
in my head denmark is so tiny i'm like it's just going for a walk and hanging innit 
i just feel like the way 'da' was put in those sentences made it sound less genuine. but idk im obviously overthinking everything and its an issue. im gonna start therapy soon so hopefully i can work with it

also yes bc 1 and a half hour train ride is apparently long distance 
18
Posts: 13567
Date: 08-07-2022 17:07
Private
International star



wug wrote:
bee wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
about the note for danish people i'm like yikes i use da everywhere (norwegian tho) like "hvordan har du det da" (how are you 'da') "hva tenker du da" (what are you thinking 'da') 

idk about the other things because it's very outside what i'm familiar with good luck 
in my head denmark is so tiny i'm like it's just going for a walk and hanging innit 
i just feel like the way 'da' was put in those sentences made it sound less genuine. but idk im obviously overthinking everything and its an issue. im gonna start therapy soon so hopefully i can work with it

also yes bc 1 and a half hour train ride is apparently long distance 
maybe he doesn't want to come off as super needy either, not to make it sound less genuine but more like haha yeah whatever instead of that plead uwu emoji because maybe he feels that but doesn't want to show it 
1h 30min is very short distance imo 
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 08-07-2022 17:59
Private
Popstar



Rouya wrote:
some people just write/talk like that, i think youre overthinking his use of "da". my bf uses "da" a lot and it doesnt mean he isnt sincere
22
Posts: 9159
Date: 08-07-2022 18:02
Private
Popstar



Rouya wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
bee wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
about the note for danish people i'm like yikes i use da everywhere (norwegian tho) like "hvordan har du det da" (how are you 'da') "hva tenker du da" (what are you thinking 'da') 

idk about the other things because it's very outside what i'm familiar with good luck 
in my head denmark is so tiny i'm like it's just going for a walk and hanging innit 
i just feel like the way 'da' was put in those sentences made it sound less genuine. but idk im obviously overthinking everything and its an issue. im gonna start therapy soon so hopefully i can work with it

also yes bc 1 and a half hour train ride is apparently long distance 
maybe he doesn't want to come off as super needy either, not to make it sound less genuine but more like haha yeah whatever instead of that plead uwu emoji because maybe he feels that but doesn't want to show it 
1h 30min is very short distance imo 
yeah also this, could be he just is trying to not come off as needy either, trying to make it sound casual while letting you know that he is interested
22
Posts: 9159
Date: 08-07-2022 18:04
Private
World famous



bee wrote:
Rouya wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
bee wrote:
i just feel like the way 'da' was put in those sentences made it sound less genuine. but idk im obviously overthinking everything and its an issue. im gonna start therapy soon so hopefully i can work with it

also yes bc 1 and a half hour train ride is apparently long distance 
maybe he doesn't want to come off as super needy either, not to make it sound less genuine but more like haha yeah whatever instead of that plead uwu emoji because maybe he feels that but doesn't want to show it 
1h 30min is very short distance imo 
yeah also this, could be he just is trying to not come off as needy either, trying to make it sound casual while letting you know that he is interested
okay we will say thats the case then. i dont think he has used da in any other circumstances so i dont feel like thats just the way he talks. idk 
18
Posts: 13567
Date: 08-07-2022 18:16
Private
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bee wrote:
also i almost told him i wanna see him very soon but i stopped myself last second lol
18
Posts: 13567
Date: 08-07-2022 18:17
Private
World famous



bee wrote:
im also realizing i need to be careful not to turn this into some unrealistic fairytale cus im good at that and i only end up hurting myself in the end 
18
Posts: 13567
Date: 08-07-2022 18:37
Account deleted




wrote:
honestly ... danish males (men in general) are dumb and needs shit to be spelled out for them otherwise they just don't think further abt it
besides being "pushy" is just you being assertive and saying what you want. no harm in that.
Date: 08-07-2022 19:04
Private
World famous



bee wrote:
acidreflux wrote:
honestly ... danish males (men in general) are dumb and needs shit to be spelled out for them otherwise they just don't think further abt it
besides being "pushy" is just you being assertive and saying what you want. no harm in that.
if that aint the truth... thanks for reminding me. i think im gonna ask him in a few days. maybe tomorrow cus im impatient lol
18
Posts: 13567
Date: 08-07-2022 19:43
Private
World famous



bee wrote:
im thinking about being those we're not really strangers cards, i wanna play with him so bad 
18
Posts: 13567
Date: 08-07-2022 19:43
MissLondon
Queen of Queens



MissLondon wrote:
I feel you’re overthinking it
just go for it and gl!
20
Posts: 27725
Date: 08-07-2022 19:48
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World famous



bee wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
I feel you’re overthinking it
just go for it and gl!
how to not overthink😭 
ty tho <3
18
Posts: 13567
Date: 08-07-2022 20:23
Private
Popstar



Rouya wrote:
bee wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
I feel you’re overthinking it
just go for it and gl!
how to not overthink😭 
ty tho <3
my psychologist advised me to try to write down my thoughts in a diary when i was overthinking, to get them out of my head, and then when i had gotten it all out, i should push the thoughts away. if i felt i needed to go over them again, i could either go back and read what i wrote, and if there was more to write, then write that, otherwise just continue saying "no" to the invasive/overthinking/catastrophising thoughts inside my head when they pop up. worked for me. i dont overthink that much anymore
22
Posts: 9159
Date: 08-07-2022 20:25 | Times changed: 1
Private
World famous



bee wrote:
Rouya wrote:
bee wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
I feel you’re overthinking it
just go for it and gl!
how to not overthink😭 
ty tho <3
my psychologist advised me to try to write down my thoughts in a diary when i was overthinking, to get them out of my head, and then when i had gotten it all out, i should push the thoughts away. if i felt i needed to go over them again, i could either go back and read what i wrote, and if there was more to write, then write that, otherwise just continue saying "no" to the invasive/overthinking/catastrophising thoughts inside my head when they pop up. worked for me. i dont overthink that much anymore
thank you for the advice, im gonna try that!
18
Posts: 13567
Date: 08-07-2022 20:27
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