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is this homophobic?
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
I have been asked by 2 people if me liking girls has anything to do with my bad experiences with men. One being a girl friend and the other my now ex.

Idk why I feel the need to explain but I've told them the first person I had a crush on was a girl when I was 12 when I didn't have any bad experiences with boys.

Sort of makes it seem like sexuality is caused by something and idk it just upset me a little bit. Why must there be a reason? Why can't it just be the way it is?
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 08-10-2022 20:15 | Times changed: 1
Private
Streetmusician



commander2 wrote:
yee i think it is like   not raging homophobe bbut it jsut does make me feel like they have some internalised ideas tht its not normal or sth? 
17
Posts: 30167
Date: 08-10-2022 20:20
Private
National Star



Miguel wrote:
more like ignorant tbh
next time ask them (if theyre straight) if they are straight bc they had bad experience w ppl from their same gender. they might get a clue 
15
Posts: 2552
Date: 08-10-2022 20:23
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Miguel wrote:
more like ignorant tbh
next time ask them (if theyre straight) if they are straight bc they had bad experience w ppl from their same gender. they might get a clue 
so true, sounds crazy when u think about it
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 08-10-2022 20:27
Private
Popstar



Rouya wrote:
little bit homophobic yes, it implies that (if youre afab) liking men is natural and liking girls isnt, it has to be caused by something traumatic (even though it is just as natural)
22
Posts: 9162
Date: 08-10-2022 20:27
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Rouya wrote:
little bit homophobic yes, it implies that (if youre afab) liking men is natural and liking girls isnt, it has to be caused by something traumatic (even though it is just as natural)
yes exactly this
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 08-10-2022 20:29
Bimbo
Popstar



Bimbo wrote:
I agree with Miguel, not homophobic but def a bit ignorant (and tbh also kinda dumb, like that makes no sense)
19
Posts: 19216
Date: 08-10-2022 20:44
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Bimbo wrote:
I agree with Miguel, not homophobic but def a bit ignorant (and tbh also kinda dumb, like that makes no sense)
true
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 08-10-2022 20:49
MissLondon
World Famous



MissLondon wrote:
I don’t think it’s phobia 
Comes across more so as curiosity about 
something they don’t understand 
20
Posts: 27954
Date: 08-10-2022 21:04
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
I don’t think it’s phobia 
Comes across more so as curiosity about 
something they don’t understand 
it's just a weird thing to ask to me
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 08-10-2022 21:14
Private
Youtube Star



devilcake wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
I don’t think it’s phobia 
Comes across more so as curiosity about 
something they don’t understand 
it's just a weird thing to ask to me
i wouldnt trust misslondons opnionion on this she strikes me as the sort of person whod say the same sorta thing as ur friend lol
19
Posts: 190796
Date: 08-10-2022 21:18
MasileinDE
International Star



MasileinDE wrote:
Rouya wrote:
little bit homophobic yes, it implies that (if youre afab) liking men is natural and liking girls isnt, it has to be caused by something traumatic (even though it is just as natural)
a little bit of this, maybe a little bit of curiosity (and lack of understanding, which are both caused by hetronormative thinking patterns)

I guess it's in as much casually homophobic as many heteronormative thinking patterns are
it's not outright hateful or willfully ignorant, it's just not thinking about things that don't take part in your life and your perception on the world (not of the world, but how you interact with it and your preconceived notion that other people share this experience with you)

but I definitely understand how and why it's hurtful, because for you it's not how you look onto the world and thus it feels really invalidating
even if it's out of curiosity, it's like asking people "hey, I saw you being different to me, do you have a trauma that I need to know about?"
it's a bit ... direct, maybe even crude and tasteless to just out of the gate ask stuff like that
16
Posts: 11906
Date: 08-10-2022 21:24
MissLondon
World Famous



MissLondon wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
I don’t think it’s phobia 
Comes across more so as curiosity about 
something they don’t understand 
it's just a weird thing to ask to me
It’s odd and most people 
wouldn’t ask 
20
Posts: 27954
Date: 08-10-2022 21:30
Private
Popstar



Rouya wrote:
MasileinDE wrote:
Rouya wrote:
little bit homophobic yes, it implies that (if youre afab) liking men is natural and liking girls isnt, it has to be caused by something traumatic (even though it is just as natural)
a little bit of this, maybe a little bit of curiosity (and lack of understanding, which are both caused by hetronormative thinking patterns)

I guess it's in as much casually homophobic as many heteronormative thinking patterns are
it's not outright hateful or willfully ignorant, it's just not thinking about things that don't take part in your life and your perception on the world (not of the world, but how you interact with it and your preconceived notion that other people share this experience with you)

but I definitely understand how and why it's hurtful, because for you it's not how you look onto the world and thus it feels really invalidating
even if it's out of curiosity, it's like asking people "hey, I saw you being different to me, do you have a trauma that I need to know about?"
it's a bit ... direct, maybe even crude and tasteless to just out of the gate ask stuff like that
yes i agree, it's casual, normalized/internalized homophobia in the way that it naturalizes the heteronormative experience. it is also, as you say, a crude and ignorant question
22
Posts: 9162
Date: 08-10-2022 21:33 | Times changed: 1
MissLondon
World Famous



MissLondon wrote:
devilcake wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
I don’t think it’s phobia 
Comes across more so as curiosity about 
something they don’t understand 
it's just a weird thing to ask to me
i wouldnt trust misslondons opnionion on this she strikes me as the sort of person whod say the same sorta thing as ur friend lol
Thanks, you strike me as 
a fat and goofy person lol
20
Posts: 27954
Date: 08-10-2022 21:48
5sar
International Star



5sar wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
devilcake wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
it's just a weird thing to ask to me
i wouldnt trust misslondons opnionion on this she strikes me as the sort of person whod say the same sorta thing as ur friend lol
Thanks, you strike me as 
a fat and goofy person lol
girl ur so fucking weird actually log off
21
Posts: 51292
Date: 08-10-2022 21:53
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