MasileinDE wrote:
I feel like the self-blame on these things can only go so far.
Like, ok, if most of the men you chose fall into a certain kind of category, there is a pattern there and there is a reason there for why this happens.
But I also feel like to some degree it's also a bit due to how most people approach dating in general. I get that it's depressing to not see dating as the "I'm looking for *the one*" because for many it is. But that's like filling out one lottery sli and hoping you make it big. You are bound to have "failures" to some extend if you really want to be able to find someone good. As long as you try to be as safe as possible in regards to yourself and your future, that's about the best you apparently can do.
(Also, in regard to this only problematic dudes love me back comment, I feel like oftentimes those guys where you say to yourself "those a big general red flags" - as in many people would consider them to be major red flags - usually have a really low point of entry themselves and claim to love or actually love about anyone since their desire to be in a relationship in addition to who they are makes them need to be less picky as well. This is armchair science and I'm happy to proven wrong, but this idea of being *so desperate you'd date anyone* goes both ways and isn't just on one person and seems to just get amplified by this perceived need of having to find the right person fast with as little picking and chosing as possible.)