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General < General
"You're too quiet"
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
So. We got our grades today in school. We're just 2 students lol. We had a meeting all together, then individual meetings with our teacher then a meeting together again.

When I came back after their meeting the first thing they said to me was "this is not criticism Sofie". Then they started talking about that I'm quiet and in the background and how that affects the both of them. Etc. And like went in on me.

Like I have talked to the teacher several times bc she always gives me small remarks on how quiet I am and it annoys the fuck out of me. I have told her that in school settings I AM quiet and quite laid back and have always been, but at a workplace it's different. Sure I'm shy and whatnot but it's absolutely not the same. And she keeps doubting my abilities and I can sense she's like very hesitant over me as a person because I'm shy. I've had jobs before, and there has never been an issue because I'm shy. That's just my personality, how I am as a person.

The fact that they talked about me basically behind my back when they were supposed to talk about my classmates grades really upset me. And how they were like "this is not criticism". That's like saying "I'm not racist, but..." followed by something racist.
And they are both old enough to be my mom. That's also a thing that bothers me. They have work experience equally as long as I have existed on this planet,  even more, which naturally makes them more comfortable and sure of themselves and their abilities. How we're they in their 20s?? I understand that not everyone is shy and I'm not saying they were shy in their 20s, but do you know what I mean? How sure of themselves and their abilities were they when they were my age, huh?
Like just... talking about me like I'm some fucking inconvenience for them and this education. Kick me the fuck out then if its so fucking annoying that I am the way I am. Lol.

This pissed me the FUCK off
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 29-12-2022 13:22
Account deleted




wrote:
As a fellow quiet person, I am pissed off on your behalf right now. 


All of them should get Quiet by Susan Cain as birthday present lmaof 
Date: 29-12-2022 13:31 | Times changed: 1
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
Nesta wrote:
As a fellow quiet person, I am pissed off on your behalf right now. 


All of them should get Quiet by Susan Cain as birthday present lmaof 
Right??? I fully understand if they want me to participate more during class but still, I am the way I am and I participate as much as I already can, even challenge myself a lot of the time to participate bc naturally I'm just... fine with being there and just listen. It's not like I'm quiet bc it's fun to be quiet or that I wanna get away easily or whatever. They are old enough to understand that, I feel.
I also got a fucking job offer after my first internship in this education, if I was so hard to be around or an inconvenience because im shy/quiet, how come they wanted to employ me?? U know.
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 29-12-2022 13:45
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
They also don't know my history. I'm fucking PROUD to have come this far. And people who knew me 10 years ago tell me all the time what an amazing development I've done. I couldn't even be in public areas without getting panic attacks back then lmao. I'm in no way saying I'm 100% done with my "journey" or that I'm the best in social settings. No. But it's such a big difference tbh.

But of course they don't know about that so that's not their fault, how could they possibly know. But still, just.. be a bit understanding and mindful bc you never know what anyone has gone through or what diagnose they might have that makes them act different. U know? My classmate has worked with students with all kinds of special needs so I feel like she should be aware of people's differences and possible difficulties. But whatever tbh
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 29-12-2022 13:56
Private
International star



Sera wrote:
i think you already know this but your shyness is def not the issue, this is something personal they have against you. "this is not critisism..." ok why mention it then, if it has nothing to do with your performance?

how that affects the both of them

them? ok

she's not "hesitant of you as a person", she's bothered by your personality bc she doesn't know how to act around you and is obviously closer with the other student
18
Posts: 12339
Date: 29-12-2022 22:01
Private
International star



Sera wrote:
cobain wrote:
Nesta wrote:
As a fellow quiet person, I am pissed off on your behalf right now. 


All of them should get Quiet by Susan Cain as birthday present lmaof 
Right??? I fully understand if they want me to participate more during class but still, I am the way I am and I participate as much as I already can, even challenge myself a lot of the time to participate bc naturally I'm just... fine with being there and just listen. It's not like I'm quiet bc it's fun to be quiet or that I wanna get away easily or whatever. They are old enough to understand that, I feel.
I also got a fucking job offer after my first internship in this education, if I was so hard to be around or an inconvenience because im shy/quiet, how come they wanted to employ me?? U know.

exactly. don't let them make you feel insecure about yourself. you know you're good at this.
18
Posts: 12339
Date: 29-12-2022 22:02
Private
International star



Sera wrote:
also like,,,

does this person sound like someone who actually cares about you and your performance bc i dont think so
18
Posts: 12339
Date: 29-12-2022 22:06
Private
World famous



BloomCissi wrote:
The world is made for extroverts, it's so annoying. When I was in school (before uni) teachers would always remark on me "not participating in class", aka being quiet. Just fuck off?? Like, how the fuck does it bother other people??
20
Posts: 24571
Date: 29-12-2022 22:06
Private
World famous



BloomCissi wrote:
And yeah, like others have said, if they're bothered by your quietness, that's obviously their problem, not yours. 
20
Posts: 24571
Date: 29-12-2022 22:10
Private
Popstar



ouch wrote:
Nesta wrote:
As a fellow quiet person, I am pissed off on your behalf right now. 


All of them should get Quiet by Susan Cain as birthday present lmaof 
Same but just cus I got a worse grade in class always (at least norwegian class) cus I wasn't that active verbally, like ok I guess but 🤔 was glad that in vgs, we had teachers that practically did not teach at all, but asked us to read a book and do the tasks in the book lol, suited me much better and I did actually get a good grade (6 vs like 5 in ungdomsskolen)
16
Posts: 94797
Date: 30-12-2022 01:16
Private
World famous



Claire wrote:
is this instructor the highest authority involved here can you go over her head and talk to someone higher up about concerns about the way she spoke about you with another student. it's a hundred percent not appropriate lol.
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 30-12-2022 02:51
Private
World famous



Claire wrote:
Claire wrote:
is this instructor the highest authority involved here can you go over her head and talk to someone higher up about concerns about the way she spoke about you with another student. it's a hundred percent not appropriate lol.
well it might not be worth it to do that quite yet but keep this stuff documented for now so if anything escalates or repeats you have notes with dates for when you do need to like get some backup. 
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 30-12-2022 02:52
Kink
Popstar



Kink wrote:
I fully understand what you're saying, in school settings I was always super quiet, especially in group projects, and my teachers would always take points away from my grade because I was too quiet, eventhough I had told them on several occasions that that is just who I am and I am not comfortable being super talkative in a group like that. 
And now that I actually have a job, I can also 100% agree with the fact that its really not the same at all in a workplace. The way teachers treat this is such a joke. Isn't there anywhere you could turn to report them on this bevahiour? Because it is 100% not okay. 
19
Posts: 11359
Date: 30-12-2022 03:15 | Times changed: 1
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
Claire wrote:
is this instructor the highest authority involved here can you go over her head and talk to someone higher up about concerns about the way she spoke about you with another student. it's a hundred percent not appropriate lol.
it was her last day so maybe that explains it lol
my school was bought by another school and therefore all the teachers are replaced now n shit. even if it wasn't her last day i don't think i would've bothered going further with it. i just want this shit over and done with, i hate school and hate studying, it's just something i have to do to get somewhere in life.
although i'm still gonna be paired up with my classmate for the rest of the education, 9 months ish. i really don't understand how she participated in this whole talk about me when she, as i said, has worked in schools with students (not as a teacher, more like teachers assistant or student assistant or something of the sort) and should understand how wrong it is. but whatever honestly lol i don't have to be friends with her
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 30-12-2022 18:51
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
Sera wrote:
i think you already know this but your shyness is def not the issue, this is something personal they have against you. "this is not critisism..." ok why mention it then, if it has nothing to do with your performance?

how that affects the both of them

them? ok

she's not "hesitant of you as a person", she's bothered by your personality bc she doesn't know how to act around you and is obviously closer with the other student
exactly
ppl are fucked tbh like i would EVER talk to them like that. it's annoying as shit for me when they start talking about some grandma shit that has nothing to do with our education like 2350436 times a week. do i bring that up? no. bc i'm not a dick and i let ppl enjoy what they enjoy and be who they are :---)
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 30-12-2022 18:54
MissLondon
Queen of Queens



MissLondon wrote:
You know yourself better than anyone 
and if being quiet hasn’t held you back
continue to do you.

That said, I wouldn’t 
continue to focus on the negative 
what positive things did they
share about you?
20
Posts: 27549
Date: 30-12-2022 19:47
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