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genuinely no idea what she wants
Private
International Star



meilin wrote:
she messaged me that she'd like to be friends even if me and my ex broke up? genuinely no idea what is going on or what to do about it

i don't want to stay in contact because of her past behavior but since my ex lives with her and her bf, i don't want drama for him either. which will be inevitable if i share how i feel. a simple no feels bad too, but ghosting or yes will be even worse, because then either the conflict prolonges or there will be some sneaky stuff that will affect me

how do i politely go about this without harming my ex? what is the reason why she wants to stay "friends" when her behavior is really not giving "wanting to be friends"? i'm super confused why she would message me after this
18
Posts: 13927
Date: 01-10-2026 21:02
Private
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meilin wrote:
idk maybe she's hoping i will eventually tell her why we broke up since my ex is not telling her? but that seems like a weirdly lenghty plan to figure it out given i have never told her anything from our fights before. maybe she genuinely wants to be friends and is just unaware of how she comes across? but i still wouldn't want that because i fear it would lead to more uncomfortable situations for me or situations that will straight-up make me question things that i have taken years to internalize
18
Posts: 13927
Date: 01-10-2026 21:09
MissLondon
Queen of Queens



MissLondon wrote:
If this is the passive aggressive person 
you mentioned before
my stance would be, no new friends 
20
Posts: 28644
Date: 01-10-2026 21:29
Private
Popstar



bexxi wrote:
dont trust her
i would honestly just block her, mabe write her a mesage before that you dont intend to keep in contact with her  n then block.
like do you still have contact with ehr otherwise? if no then no reason to not just block her for your peace of mind. she defenitely doesnt want to be friends with you but wants to get some information from you/put you down whatever 
15
Posts: 3903
Date: 01-10-2026 21:33
Private
International Star



meilin wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
If this is the passive aggressive person 
you mentioned before
my stance would be, no new friends 
it is. and no, i don't want to be friends with her. just unsure how to resolve the situation without creating drama for my ex
18
Posts: 13927
Date: 01-10-2026 21:33
Private
International Star



meilin wrote:
bexxi wrote:
dont trust her
i would honestly just block her, mabe write her a mesage before that you dont intend to keep in contact with her  n then block.
like do you still have contact with ehr otherwise? if no then no reason to not just block her for your peace of mind. she defenitely doesnt want to be friends with you but wants to get some information from you/put you down whatever 
nope, the last time we talked was when she kept circling around me and my ex breaking up (idk how she knew it before we made it public?). i'm thinking of a small message yeah, but i feel unsure what to write. if i tell her that i found her behavior questionable, it will just create drama for my ex bc she can and will bother him about it. if i say no, the same could happen. i'd like to somehow softly let her down without making my ex's life harder
18
Posts: 13927
Date: 01-10-2026 21:36
Private
Popstar



bexxi wrote:
meilin wrote:
bexxi wrote:
dont trust her
i would honestly just block her, mabe write her a mesage before that you dont intend to keep in contact with her  n then block.
like do you still have contact with ehr otherwise? if no then no reason to not just block her for your peace of mind. she defenitely doesnt want to be friends with you but wants to get some information from you/put you down whatever 
nope, the last time we talked was when she kept circling around me and my ex breaking up (idk how she knew it before we made it public?). i'm thinking of a small message yeah, but i feel unsure what to write. if i tell her that i found her behavior questionable, it will just create drama for my ex bc she can and will bother him about it. if i say no, the same could happen. i'd like to somehow softly let her down without making my ex's life harder
i think you should preioritize yourself in this situation. your life is betetr with ehr blocked. if she does her weirdo thing and bothers other people about it thats on HER and not your fault nor your responsibilit to prevent. shes a crazy bitch no matter what you do but you should do whats best to protect yourself from her and the drama she thrives in 
15
Posts: 3903
Date: 01-10-2026 22:02
Private
International Star



meilin wrote:
bexxi wrote:
meilin wrote:
bexxi wrote:
dont trust her
i would honestly just block her, mabe write her a mesage before that you dont intend to keep in contact with her  n then block.
like do you still have contact with ehr otherwise? if no then no reason to not just block her for your peace of mind. she defenitely doesnt want to be friends with you but wants to get some information from you/put you down whatever 
nope, the last time we talked was when she kept circling around me and my ex breaking up (idk how she knew it before we made it public?). i'm thinking of a small message yeah, but i feel unsure what to write. if i tell her that i found her behavior questionable, it will just create drama for my ex bc she can and will bother him about it. if i say no, the same could happen. i'd like to somehow softly let her down without making my ex's life harder
i think you should preioritize yourself in this situation. your life is betetr with ehr blocked. if she does her weirdo thing and bothers other people about it thats on HER and not your fault nor your responsibilit to prevent. shes a crazy bitch no matter what you do but you should do whats best to protect yourself from her and the drama she thrives in 
mhm :/ i must admit that the comments she made on body made me relapse on my ed. ofc there were other things as well, but i think it demonstrates that she's not particularly good for my sanity. i would not want to entertain some weird friendship with her
18
Posts: 13927
Date: 01-10-2026 22:10
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