<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">~ Hozuki ~</span> <br /><br /><strong>Kae</strong> : Kiama Aseri / Pandemic: UK GSM / Cosmo<br /><strong>Twenty</strong> : Urgh, such a boring age, twenty-one this year<br /><strong>Cosplayer</strong> : Cosplaying since 2010 ; Vocaloid, Final Fantasy, Fatal Frame, No.6<br /><strong>Roleplayer</strong> : Roleplaying since approx. 2004. Feel free to mail me if you want to roleplay<br /><br /><br />More? Mail me. I'm not a biter. ~</p>
I'm pretty exhausted today. I found out what our next musical is going to be, I'm not very excited... It's a less cheesy version of High School Musical, I'm more for the darker side of the theatre. I'm so excited for Les Mis to come out, we're going to try and see it on Friday (me and my sister).
Things at home are horrible. These hospital appointments are getting pretty ridiculous now, I had to cancel my one for tomorrow because I'm not well enough for the procedure - pretty blah if you ask me... I'm currently obsessed with Harry Potter, which is good - it fills my times with something. I wish I had reason to be on here more. My depression is slowly sinking in so I'm kinda hiding myself away which upsets me I guess.
Urgh, some girl I used to hang about with just sent me a chain message. I swear people only talk to you when they want something, I really hate it, just... Urgh. Dom is talking to me again which is pretty weird. After what he did in October (basically lead me on then pretended I never existed, didn't talk to me for two months - no explanation even when I asked for one -.-' MEN), well I don't feel like forgiving him. He's apologised but not said what for. I've continued to distance myself from him, which I think is good for me.
My gay best friend keeps telling me he loves me. I know hes constantly on about wanting a boyfriend, but he keeps like trying to kiss me as well. I think he's just being friendly, but I'm not entirely sure... Wanting to keep his arms round me, hold my hand in public and things... It's so confusing.
I don't really want to talk to anyone recently, it kind of feels like I just don't have the energy to do so. I'm always playing video games or on a retro Habbo creating a Hogwarts, going onto other Hogwarts things... So much stuff that I do I guess. Tomorrow I'm taking the day off to kinda recover I guess you could say so I'm going to start my next costume.
I did something stupid today - I bought cigarettes. I don't know why I did, I was angry at my mum and it was kind of like... Spur of the moment. I kind of regret it, but I kind of don't, ha. I guess in a way its peer pressure, cause everyone else smokes and I should be old enough to say no but I'm kind of like... I don't know, I don't say no. And I really think that the cigarettes I've had recently are whats making me ill... I've never had good lungs, the most simplest of things like leather or a strong smelling plant can stop me breathing, so why am I bothering with smoking? Guess I'm trying to find something to stop me being upset... Recently I've been so happy, smiling so much around my friends and then I come home to be depressed.
I just need out of this place, I wish I were happy again.
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