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i need to talk about this
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
i'm really proud of you 

when you first said you guys brokeup i didnt think you were gonna stay broken up and i'm sorry i doubted you. it seems like youre really processing the abuse that he put you through and  after reading your threads for the last four years i'm just so proud of you for breaking free. 

tell us everything that you need to say. i'll read all of it and bear witness to your pain. you've survived and you are going to thrive. i know it. i'm so proud to see you processing this. 
i'm still sad tho, you know? he was nice when he wasn't being a fucking asshole - and that's the worst part. i wish he was a mean ass person right through and all the time, but he isn't. and that shit sucks.
i DO know. i know. 
why do they have to be this way?

the worst part is that i in no way think his actual intention was ever to be a fucking asshole. in fact, i think a lot of the time, he didn't even realize he was being an asshole. i mean, this is a man who got angry because he learned there's a saying that goes "couldn't see the forest for all the trees" because considering that the trees are the forest that saying is absolutely illogical and makes zero sense

no, i'm not kidding
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 13-06-2020 01:00
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
Delusion1111111 wrote:
scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
i'm really proud of you 

when you first said you guys brokeup i didnt think you were gonna stay broken up and i'm sorry i doubted you. it seems like youre really processing the abuse that he put you through and  after reading your threads for the last four years i'm just so proud of you for breaking free. 

tell us everything that you need to say. i'll read all of it and bear witness to your pain. you've survived and you are going to thrive. i know it. i'm so proud to see you processing this. 
i'm still sad tho, you know? he was nice when he wasn't being a fucking asshole - and that's the worst part. i wish he was a mean ass person right through and all the time, but he isn't. and that shit sucks.
nobody is ever entirely bad though. thats why we stay so long w bad ppl, bcuz there are ALWAYS good parts that come thru sometimes. that goes for everyone, like even the most evil ppl. theyll still sometimes do nice things.
he never did nice things that way (i mean he was nice a lot of the time tho) but there was just something else... like, he was like an abandoned kitten you just have to take home with you
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 13-06-2020 01:01
Private
Youtube star



Chocolata wrote:
scoff wrote:
Chocolata wrote:
scoff wrote:
i got out because he kicked me out for the third time and somehow i ended up getting my own apartment

It's tragic that he kicked you out, I can't imagine what it must have been like. But I'm happy for you that you got your own apartment. Please don't put yourself down for what he did to you or for how you had to adapt and cope. Healing needs time but it is possible.
i mean, what else was i supposed to do? be homeless? with two cats? that wasn't an option.

You have two cats? I love cats, actually, I do have two too. You seem like a great cat mom and also strong. I imagine quite some people would have given up instead.
10
Posts: 111
Date: 13-06-2020 01:02
Private
World famous



Rotte wrote:
scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
i'm really proud of you 

when you first said you guys brokeup i didnt think you were gonna stay broken up and i'm sorry i doubted you. it seems like youre really processing the abuse that he put you through and  after reading your threads for the last four years i'm just so proud of you for breaking free. 

tell us everything that you need to say. i'll read all of it and bear witness to your pain. you've survived and you are going to thrive. i know it. i'm so proud to see you processing this. 
i'm still sad tho, you know? he was nice when he wasn't being a fucking asshole - and that's the worst part. i wish he was a mean ass person right through and all the time, but he isn't. and that shit sucks.
That kind of person got two personalities

Regardless i think Clarie put it pretty well! It's good to know u aren't in that abuse anymore, it's just about moving forwards now! 
21
Posts: 70325
Date: 13-06-2020 01:02
Private
World famous



Claire wrote:
scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
scoff wrote:
i'm still sad tho, you know? he was nice when he wasn't being a fucking asshole - and that's the worst part. i wish he was a mean ass person right through and all the time, but he isn't. and that shit sucks.
i DO know. i know. 
why do they have to be this way?

the worst part is that i in no way think his actual intention was ever to be a fucking asshole. in fact, i think a lot of the time, he didn't even realize he was being an asshole. i mean, this is a man who got angry because he learned there's a saying that goes "couldn't see the forest for all the trees" because considering that the trees are the forest that saying is absolutely illogical and makes zero sense

no, i'm not kidding

like the irony of that is too much to be true.
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 13-06-2020 01:04
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
Chocolata wrote:
scoff wrote:
Chocolata wrote:

It's tragic that he kicked you out, I can't imagine what it must have been like. But I'm happy for you that you got your own apartment. Please don't put yourself down for what he did to you or for how you had to adapt and cope. Healing needs time but it is possible.
i mean, what else was i supposed to do? be homeless? with two cats? that wasn't an option.

You have two cats? I love cats, actually, I do have two too. You seem like a great cat mom and also strong. I imagine quite some people would have given up instead.
i do have two cats
and i wanted to give up but i had nowhere permanent to go and my cats need to be taken care of and... well, here i am
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 13-06-2020 01:04
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
Ella wrote:
scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
i'm really proud of you 

when you first said you guys brokeup i didnt think you were gonna stay broken up and i'm sorry i doubted you. it seems like youre really processing the abuse that he put you through and  after reading your threads for the last four years i'm just so proud of you for breaking free. 

tell us everything that you need to say. i'll read all of it and bear witness to your pain. you've survived and you are going to thrive. i know it. i'm so proud to see you processing this. 
i'm still sad tho, you know? he was nice when he wasn't being a fucking asshole - and that's the worst part. i wish he was a mean ass person right through and all the time, but he isn't. and that shit sucks.
That kind of person got two personalities

Regardless i think Clarie put it pretty well! It's good to know u aren't in that abuse anymore, it's just about moving forwards now! 
nah, it's all the same personality really
part of me thinks he's really just a ten y/o kid in an adult person's body because a lot of the things he did are things i could see my now eleven y/o brother do about a year ago but not anymore 'cause he's outgrown it
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 13-06-2020 01:06
MissLondon
Queen of Queens



MissLondon wrote:
Girl, I'm glad that you finally chose to love yourself first ❤

So many times I would read your threads and I would become angry because it reminded me of someone from my past. 
I eventually broke up with him, after I hit him with my car. Not a wise decision because it was fueled by anger and resentment. I still don't regret it tho. 

Proud of you Nath! 
20
Posts: 27725
Date: 13-06-2020 01:06
Private
World famous



Rotte wrote:
scoff wrote:
Ella wrote:
scoff wrote:
i'm still sad tho, you know? he was nice when he wasn't being a fucking asshole - and that's the worst part. i wish he was a mean ass person right through and all the time, but he isn't. and that shit sucks.
That kind of person got two personalities

Regardless i think Clarie put it pretty well! It's good to know u aren't in that abuse anymore, it's just about moving forwards now! 
nah, it's all the same personality really
part of me thinks he's really just a ten y/o kid in an adult person's body because a lot of the things he did are things i could see my now eleven y/o brother do about a year ago but not anymore 'cause he's outgrown it
But was he that abusive to anyone else or was it just u?
21
Posts: 70325
Date: 13-06-2020 01:06
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
i DO know. i know. 
why do they have to be this way?

the worst part is that i in no way think his actual intention was ever to be a fucking asshole. in fact, i think a lot of the time, he didn't even realize he was being an asshole. i mean, this is a man who got angry because he learned there's a saying that goes "couldn't see the forest for all the trees" because considering that the trees are the forest that saying is absolutely illogical and makes zero sense

no, i'm not kidding

like the irony of that is too much to be true.
oh, you don't say?

he did a lot of weird stuff. like once at a festival someone asked me how many seats we had 'cause they wanted a ride back to town and from nowhere he comes up to us with... CHAIRS? a bunch of CHAIRS?!
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 13-06-2020 01:07
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
Ella wrote:
scoff wrote:
Ella wrote:
That kind of person got two personalities

Regardless i think Clarie put it pretty well! It's good to know u aren't in that abuse anymore, it's just about moving forwards now! 
nah, it's all the same personality really
part of me thinks he's really just a ten y/o kid in an adult person's body because a lot of the things he did are things i could see my now eleven y/o brother do about a year ago but not anymore 'cause he's outgrown it
But was he that abusive to anyone else or was it just u?
i don't really know
he's never treated his mother well and he doesn't get along with his sister. he's told me a lot of fucked up stories about him and his exes, so i guess... women? women close to him? 
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 13-06-2020 01:08
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
Girl, I'm glad that you finally chose to love yourself first ❤

So many times I would read your threads and I would become angry because it reminded me of someone from my past. 
I eventually broke up with him, after I hit him with my car. Not a wise decision because it was fueled by anger and resentment. I still don't regret it tho. 

Proud of you Nath! 
people do a lot of fucked up shit in fucked up situations
i'm a grown ass woman and i definitely normally wouldn't lie down on the floor crying and screaming that i want to die
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 13-06-2020 01:09
Private
World famous



Claire wrote:
scoff wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
Girl, I'm glad that you finally chose to love yourself first ❤

So many times I would read your threads and I would become angry because it reminded me of someone from my past. 
I eventually broke up with him, after I hit him with my car. Not a wise decision because it was fueled by anger and resentment. I still don't regret it tho. 

Proud of you Nath! 
people do a lot of fucked up shit in fucked up situations
i'm a grown ass woman and i definitely normally wouldn't lie down on the floor crying and screaming that i want to die
hold onto that phrase girl and think about it when you get mad at yourself for the choices you made
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 13-06-2020 01:10
Private
World famous



Claire wrote:
Ella wrote:
scoff wrote:
Ella wrote:
That kind of person got two personalities

Regardless i think Clarie put it pretty well! It's good to know u aren't in that abuse anymore, it's just about moving forwards now! 
nah, it's all the same personality really
part of me thinks he's really just a ten y/o kid in an adult person's body because a lot of the things he did are things i could see my now eleven y/o brother do about a year ago but not anymore 'cause he's outgrown it
But was he that abusive to anyone else or was it just u?
its normal for abusive men to only abuse their girlfriends/wives and not abuse anyone else. it's part of how they get away with it by having few victims.
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 13-06-2020 01:11
Private
World famous



Rotte wrote:
Claire wrote:
Ella wrote:
scoff wrote:
nah, it's all the same personality really
part of me thinks he's really just a ten y/o kid in an adult person's body because a lot of the things he did are things i could see my now eleven y/o brother do about a year ago but not anymore 'cause he's outgrown it
But was he that abusive to anyone else or was it just u?
its normal for abusive men to only abuse their girlfriends/wives and not abuse anyone else. it's part of how they get away with it by having few victims.
That's why i said he would have 2 personalities, but when she all the same i wondered if he were like this too others.
21
Posts: 70325
Date: 13-06-2020 01:12
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