Deep talk with me and my boyfriend - Forum

Account deleted

wrote:
-meditation bringing you to the "truth" and how it's hard to get there because there is fear that when you do, nothing will matter and living will not make sense

No lmaof
I can do existential dread without meditation

Account deleted

wrote:

callum wrote:

NOface wrote:

callum wrote:
parenthood and how every parent fucks up their child in some way

its true, its true

what is your story
or opinion

I agree with the statement even tho I have wonderful parents and don't really have anything against the way they raised me and my sisters. But parenting is damn stupid and I never understood why people put themselves into that situation.

i mean just look at the way we stereotype kids on gender and the implications of that, i did a sociology lesson on it and thinking about how we teach boys to play with more "skilled" toys than girls is like the first red flag, like ofc they r gonna move on to do more advanced stuff on a general consensus

and then we teach kids to fucking obey capitalism and stuff like

not sure if that goes under "fucks kids up" but it defo is fucked up one way or another

I watched a really good documentary on this. In it they made the parents made small changes and encouraged girls to be competitive and you would see how the children changed so easily. They adapt to opinions so easily. I agree.

This opens up another topic. Is it ok to make a child think stuff you think until they are old enough to make their own conclusions?

Don't know much about politics tho so can't say anything there.

Annie
National Star

Annie wrote:

callum wrote:
parenthood and how every parent fucks up their child in some way

its true, its true

Theres so handbook on parenting, and even if there was it would be innacurate. Because people who are parents are flawed as human beings, naturally their children will grow up with flaw of their own, either inheritantly bad beliefs, or a certain mindset of the world, etc. Everyone who has kids is gonna fuck up, its just on the parent to do what they can to minimalize the damage, which imo is pretty much impossible. Thats why theres trauma, because people fuck up in a big or small way, hurt their children, and are left with the consiquemces. But its pretty hard to avoid it (unless its abuse or the sorts, cause fuck yeah a parent can avoid that)

Does that make any sense?

Account deleted

wrote:
The school system
Yes

Account deleted

wrote:

Annie wrote:

callum wrote:
parenthood and how every parent fucks up their child in some way

its true, its true

Theres so handbook on parenting, and even if there was it would be innacurate. Because people who are parents are flawed as human beings, naturally their children will grow up with flaw of their own, either inheritantly bad beliefs, or a certain mindset of the world, etc. Everyone who has kids is gonna fuck up, its just on the parent to do what they can to minimalize the damage, which imo is pretty much impossible. Thats why theres trauma, because people fuck up in a big or small way, hurt their children, and are left with the consiquemces. But its pretty hard to avoid it (unless its abuse or the sorts, cause fuck yeah a parent can avoid that)

Does that make any sense?

yes it makes sense

Private
World Famous

Rotte wrote:
-parenthood and how every parent fucks up their child in some way
I think to some degree every parent does something that will affect their kid in a bad way, it migh be hard to find a balance that is suitable. But i don't think every parent fucked up their kid too a degree where it hinders them from living and growing as decent people. I guess it really depends on how u "fuck up" the kid too, if it's in term of health, upbringing or passing mental health.

-therapists are bad at their jobs
I don't think therapists are necessarily bad at their job. I just don't think therapy is for everyone, u have got to want the help and take action when having a therapist.

Account deleted

wrote:

Snusmumrikken wrote:
-parenthood and how every parent fucks up their child in some way
well yes of course, humans are egoistic and stupid simultaneously, parents want to relive their lives through their kids, fixing mistakes they did to get a better outcome, kids won't listen because they are by nature stupid cunts so they do the same mistakes over and over again, humanity is bound to fail.

-are we inclined to love or just keep in touch with our family just because it's our family even of we don't have any respect for them
no.

-meditation bringing you to the "truth" and how it's hard to get there because there is fear that when you do, nothing will matter and living will not make sense
waste of time.

-therapists are bad at their jobs
i see you on this and up it with: it's the patients that are the problem.

-my fear of people hating me so I try to make myself likable but I also hate when people use it for their gain
rip

-his anxiety that his anxiety will make him crazy
rip

wow you really summed that up quickly haha

Annie
National Star

Annie wrote:

NOface wrote:

-are we inclined to love or just keep in touch with our family just because it's our family even of we don't have any respect for them

Absolutely. There are people who find the strength to cut off family ot loved ones from their lives, but from childhood, we're taught that blood is thicker than water and family comes first. Its engraved in our minds to stick to family, even when it harms us. I have a huge amount of respect to people who can cut toxic family members out of their lives.

Annie
National Star

Annie wrote:

NOface wrote:

-meditation bringing you to the "truth" and how it's hard to get there because there is fear that when you do, nothing will matter and living will not make sense

What no

Account deleted

wrote:
parenting is such a complex thing and i frankly think that most parents don't realize that... they just go into building a family or raising a child because they think they have enough material resources, but one of the most important factors, the mental health/mentality of the parent and the emotional resources, can most times be lacking and no one realizes it. not to say that environment doesn't affect the child because surely a child with a wealthy and loving family might turn out better than a child with a loving but poor family

Private
International Star

wug wrote:

NOface wrote:

Snusmumrikken wrote:
-parenthood and how every parent fucks up their child in some way
well yes of course, humans are egoistic and stupid simultaneously, parents want to relive their lives through their kids, fixing mistakes they did to get a better outcome, kids won't listen because they are by nature stupid cunts so they do the same mistakes over and over again, humanity is bound to fail.

-are we inclined to love or just keep in touch with our family just because it's our family even of we don't have any respect for them
no.

-meditation bringing you to the "truth" and how it's hard to get there because there is fear that when you do, nothing will matter and living will not make sense
waste of time.

-therapists are bad at their jobs
i see you on this and up it with: it's the patients that are the problem.

-my fear of people hating me so I try to make myself likable but I also hate when people use it for their gain
rip

-his anxiety that his anxiety will make him crazy
rip

wow you really summed that up quickly haha

i'm not going to spend my time elaborating on this as i'm running out of time

Private
National Star

absintjente wrote:

Angelica wrote:

-therapists are bad at their jobs
I don't think therapists are necessarily bad at their job. I just don't think therapy is for everyone, u have got to want the help and take action when having a therapist.

agreed. also, not all forms of therapy wil help everyone - n not all therapists will work w all patients.

Annie
National Star

Annie wrote:

callum wrote:
parenthood and how every parent fucks up their child in some way

its true, its true

Theres so handbook on parenting, and even if there was it would be innacurate. Because people who are parents are flawed as human beings, naturally their children will grow up with flaw of their own, either inheritantly bad beliefs, or a certain mindset of the world, etc. Everyone who has kids is gonna fuck up, its just on the parent to do what they can to minimalize the damage, which imo is pretty much impossible. Thats why theres trauma, because people fuck up in a big or small way, hurt their children, and are left with the consiquemces. But its pretty hard to avoid it (unless its abuse or the sorts, cause fuck yeah a parent can avoid that)

Does that make any sense?

And its just a big cycle too

Laboratory
World Famous

Laboratory wrote:
-are we inclined to love or just keep in touch with our family just because it's our family even of we
don't have any respect for them

I def think most of us probably are inclined to stay in touch w family yes? like for instance if my mom was any other person I had told her to go f herself years ago but like there's that 'she ur mom' feel ya cant shake ya kno
i think its p human to want to stay connected w the 1s who made ya
idk if I feel like it's generally the same w siblings tho like I dont feel ^ that way about my siblings

Account deleted

wrote:

Heaven wrote:
-parenthood and how every parent fucks up their child in some way
i don't think that anyone is 100% the perfect parent, in some way, either minor or in a grand scale, they're going to affect their child negatively... that's when it's up to the child itself to grow as a person. in minor cases i'm sure the person can tame it (but just like literally everyone else, they will have some sort of unresolved issue), and in bigger ones.. mental illness yep, or in worse cases, complex trauma

-are we inclined to love or just keep in touch with our family just because it's our family even of we don't have any respect for them
no, i disagree w this immensely. family doesn't matter it's just a sOciaL cOnstrUct (lmao)

-meditation bringing you to the "truth" and how it's hard to get there because there is fear that when you do, nothing will matter and living will not make sense
i think you mean enlightenment? i don't think anyone nowadays actually goes through enlightenment because arguably speaking you would not be part of society if you truly were enlightened (aka ""ego death"" and if you experience it where would your will to function as a member of society be?).
many have said that they felt as if they no longer belong in it after going through some sort of spiritual awakening but i beg to differ, as i said, i don't believe anyone nowadays actually goes through that. it's a temporary state of mind and one eventually gets used to "normal life" again.

-therapists are bad at their jobs
it depends.. i donno what to say on this, i think my opinion is too controversial or weird to share on vp so i'll abstain lmao

-my fear of people hating me so I try to make myself likable but I also hate when people use it for their gain
ive discussed this so many times so im lazy to respond

-his anxiety that his anxiety will make him crazy
i relate.. i think people underestimate how dysfunctional anxiety can make someone and especially underestimate how serious it is... it ruins people's daily lives. it's really fucked up but thankfully there is treatment/medicine for it and i do believe that with enough mental strength one can eventually break out of that pattern

-This is what I meant. That is a theme my boyfriend loves to talk about because he did get some weird stuff happening with meditation and he think he would be able to reach ego death but is afraid of exactly that happening.