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"Oh I'm not bothered/offended"
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
Eostre wrote:
This sentence lost me like idk how to read it w the spelling errors

Well if you were worried youd be hit on I understand not he wont or else I wouldnt bother to ask"  
Ttyping on my phone was a bad idea 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 08-06-2022 01:20
Account deleted




wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Eostre wrote:
This sentence lost me like idk how to read it w the spelling errors

Well if you were worried youd be hit on I understand not he wont or else I wouldnt bother to ask"  
Ttyping on my phone was a bad idea 
Relatable 
Date: 08-06-2022 01:20
Private
Minister of Pop



Azriel wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
I cant clarify if you dont explain what's unclear about my post 
the entire history is very confusing to me, like is your friend trans or not, why does it matter, like the way the history is presented as of now, the way i read it, you made a problem out of something that wasn't initially a problem, but it might be me not understanding the story 
For context: 

My friend J (he is technically a trans woman but hasnt medically or socially transitioned yet so he currently lives as a male) is coming into town, and we are going to the city my friend L (the one who I had the exchange with) lives in 

L told me about the festival and I asked if J could come. L assumed J was a woman so I told her he is living as a male (I mentioned J is trans to honor his identity [he currently uses male pronouns])

I wanted to make sure she was ok w/ that because I know men can be flirty and wanted her to know he would not (shes a lesbian and has experienced unwanted male advances before) 

That's when she pulled the "I'm confused why would I be uncomfortable I'm 27 I can shut that shit down" 

Then when I asked if thats cool "no I only want to go with a group of girls" 

Us that more clear  
ok this makes more sense
there is a difference between being uncomfortable about that and wanting to go out w girls (that present as girls, i guess)
20
Posts: 38243
Date: 08-06-2022 01:21
Private
Popstar



ouch wrote:
Mby I was confused cus u said trans woman and then refer to him as he and a guy etc so I was just ok is this the same person, 
16
Posts: 95491
Date: 08-06-2022 01:21
MissLondon
World famous



MissLondon wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
For context: 

My friend J (he is technically a trans woman but hasnt medically or socially transitioned yet so he currently lives as a male) is coming into town, and we are going to the city my friend L (the one who I had the exchange with) lives in 

L told me about the festival and I asked if J could come. L assumed J was a woman so I told her he is living as a male (I mentioned J is trans to honor his identity [he currently uses male pronouns])

I wanted to make sure she was ok w/ that because I know men can be flirty and wanted her to know he would not (shes a lesbian and has experienced unwanted male advances before) 

That's when she pulled the "I'm confused why would I be uncomfortable I'm 27 I can shut that shit down" 

Then when I asked if thats cool "no I only want to go with a group of girls" 

Us that more clear  
maybe it's cultural, it's more clear but i'm still ??? 
Ttechnically his trans identity doesnt matter but I don't want to reduce him to merely a Male because his gender identity is female. I'm trying to be respectful 

Yet I get if she wpuldnt want to hang out with a guy she doesnt know cuz I know she wouldnt want to have sex with him and guys coming onto girls is a real concern. Wanted her to know hes not that sorta dude 
I think you read too much 
into her response 
and as for clarifying your story
20
Posts: 27725
Date: 08-06-2022 01:22
Private
International star



wug wrote:
ouch wrote:
Mby I was confused cus u said trans woman and then refer to him as he and a guy etc so I was just ok is this the same person, 
yeah it was very confusing 
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 08-06-2022 01:23
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
Azriel wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
the entire history is very confusing to me, like is your friend trans or not, why does it matter, like the way the history is presented as of now, the way i read it, you made a problem out of something that wasn't initially a problem, but it might be me not understanding the story 
For context: 

My friend J (he is technically a trans woman but hasnt medically or socially transitioned yet so he currently lives as a male) is coming into town, and we are going to the city my friend L (the one who I had the exchange with) lives in 

L told me about the festival and I asked if J could come. L assumed J was a woman so I told her he is living as a male (I mentioned J is trans to honor his identity [he currently uses male pronouns])

I wanted to make sure she was ok w/ that because I know men can be flirty and wanted her to know he would not (shes a lesbian and has experienced unwanted male advances before) 

That's when she pulled the "I'm confused why would I be uncomfortable I'm 27 I can shut that shit down" 

Then when I asked if thats cool "no I only want to go with a group of girls" 

Us that more clear  
ok this makes more sense
there is a difference between being uncomfortable about that and wanting to go out w girls (that present as girls, i guess)
What I mean is she was acting like it's fine 

"Oh I'm a grown woman I can shut down male attention" 

Then when I ask if shes cool with him coming says no and also tells me to drop him because shes chilling after work 

Just tell me you dont want to talk about men or hang out with them ffs

Like obviously him coming along makes you uncomfortable so dont beat around the bush wtf
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 08-06-2022 01:23 | Times changed: 1
Private
Popstar



ouch wrote:
I still don't understand the offended part or whatverr but, mby we read stuff differently
16
Posts: 95491
Date: 08-06-2022 01:25
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Azriel wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
For context: 

My friend J (he is technically a trans woman but hasnt medically or socially transitioned yet so he currently lives as a male) is coming into town, and we are going to the city my friend L (the one who I had the exchange with) lives in 

L told me about the festival and I asked if J could come. L assumed J was a woman so I told her he is living as a male (I mentioned J is trans to honor his identity [he currently uses male pronouns])

I wanted to make sure she was ok w/ that because I know men can be flirty and wanted her to know he would not (shes a lesbian and has experienced unwanted male advances before) 

That's when she pulled the "I'm confused why would I be uncomfortable I'm 27 I can shut that shit down" 

Then when I asked if thats cool "no I only want to go with a group of girls" 

Us that more clear  
ok this makes more sense
there is a difference between being uncomfortable about that and wanting to go out w girls (that present as girls, i guess)
What I mean is she was acting like it's fine 

"Oh I'm a grown woman I can shut down male attention" 

Then when I ask if shes cool with him coming says no and also tells me to drop him because shes chilling after work 

Just tell me you dont want to talk about men or hang out with them ffs

Like obviously him coming along makes you uncomfortable so dont beat around the bush wtf
Also I meant to reply to ouch saying she doesnt seem uncomfortable 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 08-06-2022 01:25
Private
Minister of Pop



Azriel wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Azriel wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
For context: 

My friend J (he is technically a trans woman but hasnt medically or socially transitioned yet so he currently lives as a male) is coming into town, and we are going to the city my friend L (the one who I had the exchange with) lives in 

L told me about the festival and I asked if J could come. L assumed J was a woman so I told her he is living as a male (I mentioned J is trans to honor his identity [he currently uses male pronouns])

I wanted to make sure she was ok w/ that because I know men can be flirty and wanted her to know he would not (shes a lesbian and has experienced unwanted male advances before) 

That's when she pulled the "I'm confused why would I be uncomfortable I'm 27 I can shut that shit down" 

Then when I asked if thats cool "no I only want to go with a group of girls" 

Us that more clear  
ok this makes more sense
there is a difference between being uncomfortable about that and wanting to go out w girls (that present as girls, i guess)
What I mean is she was acting like it's fine 

"Oh I'm a grown woman I can shut down male attention" 

Then when I ask if shes cool with him coming says no and also tells me to drop him because shes chilling after work 

Just tell me you dont want to talk about men or hang out with them ffs
there is still a difference but i guess she could've just been more clear as well
20
Posts: 38243
Date: 08-06-2022 01:26
Private
International star



wug wrote:
ouch wrote:
I still don't understand the offended part or whatverr but, mby we read stuff differently
yeah
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 08-06-2022 01:26
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
I don’t think it’s
totally a male thing
Since she doesn’t know your friend 
maybe she doesn’t want to spend
the evening overthinking 
what is/isn’t appropriate to say
so she doesn’t offend him
I would agree but she seemed interested when she thought my friend was afab 

And that's fine some girls dont like befriending men 

Just be direct is my point 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 08-06-2022 01:28 | Times changed: 1
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
Claire wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
I'm trying not to be sexist but it seems like it's mostly woman who lie about not being offended or uncomfortable 

Is it chx they're afraid of buying into the "woman are sensitive" stereotype? 

Or do I just notice when girls lie about this more so than men 
its because women are socialized to be more accommodating and nonconfrontational. you act like youre fine with things just to keep the peace and not cause disagreement. which can like lmfao leave you frustrated and you end up actually seeming more rude when you do lay down a boundary because you were too permissive before finally saying no lmao.
Yeah I think it's a female socialization thing too 

I think it's why I get along better with males 

They're more direct and dont beat around the bush as much 

I wish girls would too interacting with them would be simpler 

Cuz girls do this shit all the time just tell me ur offended so I know how to communicate with you fuck 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 08-06-2022 01:30
Private
World famous



Claire wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Claire wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
I'm trying not to be sexist but it seems like it's mostly woman who lie about not being offended or uncomfortable 

Is it chx they're afraid of buying into the "woman are sensitive" stereotype? 

Or do I just notice when girls lie about this more so than men 
its because women are socialized to be more accommodating and nonconfrontational. you act like youre fine with things just to keep the peace and not cause disagreement. which can like lmfao leave you frustrated and you end up actually seeming more rude when you do lay down a boundary because you were too permissive before finally saying no lmao.
Yeah I think it's a female socialization thing too 

I think it's why I get along better with males 

They're more direct and dont beat around the bush as much 

I wish girls would too interacting with them would be simpler 

Cuz girls do this shit all the time just tell me ur offended so I know how to communicate with you fuck 
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 08-06-2022 01:32
MissLondon
World famous



MissLondon wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
I don’t think it’s
totally a male thing
Since she doesn’t know your friend 
maybe she doesn’t want to spend
the evening overthinking 
what is/isn’t appropriate to say
so she doesn’t offend him
I would agree but she seem interested when she thought my friend was afab 

And that's fine some girls dont like befriending men 

Just be direct is my point 
Sometimes when one is direct
it causes people to ask even more questions 
It just seems like she doesn’t 
care to be bothered with
someone she doesn’t know 
20
Posts: 27725
Date: 08-06-2022 01:33
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