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lil sis break up aftermath
Private
National star



Sylvan wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
devilcake wrote:
i waited like, a year or so after my besties breakup before i went all "i knew he would turn out to be a dickwad the moment i saw him" n by then she could kinda laugh about it too
theres a time n a place etc
She knew I didn't like him because he is a racist, homophobic, transphobic idiot who threw around slurs like it was nothing and tbh I'm still pissed she didn't value me enough to have a serious problem with his views but I still intend to keep my mouth shut.

It's hard tho
Maybe it was the 🍆  lol
I wouldn’t waste a year
with anyone who’s broke/poor
He wasn't broke before they bought the flat and he technically still isn't broke bc he owns the flat but he has no liquidity or whatever you call money in the bank. 
16
Posts: 17412
Date: 05-09-2022 20:19
Private
National star



Sylvan wrote:
Evey wrote:
love makes you see things less clearly and just like you would like to have demanded more from your sister in her previous choices, try to demand more understanding from yourself and focusing on trying to support her through this big change. one could argue that you can't change how you feel, and you can't really change someone who doesn't want to change either.

i don't know the relationship between you but that would be my general advice
Yeah that's good advice I think 
16
Posts: 17412
Date: 05-09-2022 20:19
Private
World famous



Claire wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
devilcake wrote:
i waited like, a year or so after my besties breakup before i went all "i knew he would turn out to be a dickwad the moment i saw him" n by then she could kinda laugh about it too
theres a time n a place etc
She knew I didn't like him because he is a racist, homophobic, transphobic idiot who threw around slurs like it was nothing and tbh I'm still pissed she didn't value me enough to have a serious problem with his views but I still intend to keep my mouth shut.

It's hard tho
i had a hard time with soemthing like this when my sister was with an abusive man. like idk i had this like idea in my head that after he was cruel to ME she would care about ME enough to leave the guy. but she didnt even care about herself enough to leave an abuser so why would she care about me enough like that.
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 05-09-2022 20:27
MissLondon
Queen of Queens



MissLondon wrote:
Claire wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
devilcake wrote:
i waited like, a year or so after my besties breakup before i went all "i knew he would turn out to be a dickwad the moment i saw him" n by then she could kinda laugh about it too
theres a time n a place etc
She knew I didn't like him because he is a racist, homophobic, transphobic idiot who threw around slurs like it was nothing and tbh I'm still pissed she didn't value me enough to have a serious problem with his views but I still intend to keep my mouth shut.

It's hard tho
i had a hard time with soemthing like this when my sister was with an abusive man. like idk i had this like idea in my head that after he was cruel to ME she would care about ME enough to leave the guy. but she didnt even care about herself enough to leave an abuser so why would she care about me enough like that.
Maybe she fell victim to
the maybe I can change him virus.
20
Posts: 27549
Date: 05-09-2022 20:33
Private
National star



Sylvan wrote:
Claire wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
devilcake wrote:
i waited like, a year or so after my besties breakup before i went all "i knew he would turn out to be a dickwad the moment i saw him" n by then she could kinda laugh about it too
theres a time n a place etc
She knew I didn't like him because he is a racist, homophobic, transphobic idiot who threw around slurs like it was nothing and tbh I'm still pissed she didn't value me enough to have a serious problem with his views but I still intend to keep my mouth shut.

It's hard tho
i had a hard time with soemthing like this when my sister was with an abusive man. like idk i had this like idea in my head that after he was cruel to ME she would care about ME enough to leave the guy. but she didnt even care about herself enough to leave an abuser so why would she care about me enough like that.
AFAIK he wasn't abusive but what do I know. We weren't really close lately bc she started a new full time job and moved out last year and yeah. 
16
Posts: 17412
Date: 05-09-2022 20:44
Private
World famous



Claire wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
Claire wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
She knew I didn't like him because he is a racist, homophobic, transphobic idiot who threw around slurs like it was nothing and tbh I'm still pissed she didn't value me enough to have a serious problem with his views but I still intend to keep my mouth shut.

It's hard tho
i had a hard time with soemthing like this when my sister was with an abusive man. like idk i had this like idea in my head that after he was cruel to ME she would care about ME enough to leave the guy. but she didnt even care about herself enough to leave an abuser so why would she care about me enough like that.
Maybe she fell victim to
the maybe I can change him virus.
he blackmailed her and she ended up getting a restraining order it was more complicated than just that
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 05-09-2022 21:22
Private
World famous



Claire wrote:
my point is just like i get being hurt when your sister wont like choose you when you feel a way about her partner like that shit sucks like youre my sister and you should respect me and love me enough that my opinion here should carry weight lmao but it just doesnt 
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 05-09-2022 21:27
Private
National star



Sylvan wrote:
He kicked her out of their shared Netflix account (also me but I was just a parasite).

Looks like they are done for good. 
16
Posts: 17412
Date: 06-09-2022 23:07
Account deleted




wrote:
ouch wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
No but this is a put the whole man in the garbage situation bc this fucker had the audacity to break up with her because he doesn't see a future if she keeps nagging about him drinking a beer sometimes.. (aka him being blackout drunk at least once a week and drinking every day, him staying behind with his friends while she had to walk 5km home in the dark drunk,...)

As of it isn't reasonable to be concerned if your bf is drunk all the time.... 
reasonable to get concerned but I would probably break up too if I got a gf who didn't agree w my drinking habits and I didn't want to stop drinking
I think you nailed it w this comment.
Date: 06-09-2022 23:16
Account deleted




wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
He kicked her out of their shared Netflix account (also me but I was just a parasite).

Looks like they are done for good. 
the ultimate letdown 
Date: 06-09-2022 23:16
Fantasy
World famous



Fantasy wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
No but this is a put the whole man in the garbage situation bc this fucker had the audacity to break up with her because he doesn't see a future if she keeps nagging about him drinking a beer sometimes.. (aka him being blackout drunk at least once a week and drinking every day, him staying behind with his friends while she had to walk 5km home in the dark drunk,...)

As of it isn't reasonable to be concerned if your bf is drunk all the time.... 
uhm sounds like ur sister really should have broken up cause id not get past my bf letting me walk down in the dark drunk by myself like tf???
sooo I would totally tell ur sis that u were in the right after all if I were u 
16
Posts: 9685
Date: 06-09-2022 23:21
MissLondon
Queen of Queens



MissLondon wrote:
Claire wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
Claire wrote:
i had a hard time with soemthing like this when my sister was with an abusive man. like idk i had this like idea in my head that after he was cruel to ME she would care about ME enough to leave the guy. but she didnt even care about herself enough to leave an abuser so why would she care about me enough like that.
Maybe she fell victim to
the maybe I can change him virus.
he blackmailed her and she ended up getting a restraining order it was more complicated than just that
It’s always complicated 
shame that she allowed him
to blackmail her tho
Did she ever fight back?
For me, it was like bullying 
When I slapped & punched back
the tables certainly turned
I’m glad my bitchass ex didn’t 
file a restraining order or press charges
because it would have given me
something to aim for the next time
I saw him.
Glad your sister made it out
20
Posts: 27549
Date: 06-09-2022 23:25
Private
World famous



Barbarella wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
No but this is a put the whole man in the garbage situation bc this fucker had the audacity to break up with her because he doesn't see a future if she keeps nagging about him drinking a beer sometimes.. (aka him being blackout drunk at least once a week and drinking every day, him staying behind with his friends while she had to walk 5km home in the dark drunk,...)

As of it isn't reasonable to be concerned if your bf is drunk all the time.... 
well fair dumping someone over not seeing a future with them it's a shittier move to stay together while thinking that it's not going to last anyway
Throwing away 5 years and a flat they own together because your partner is concerned for your well being is so fucking childish. 

He still owes her 25k for built in furniture and other stuff so she is mega hella pissed because he is too broke to pay her. 

in my experience, there's no hope for a relationship that involves an alcoholic who refuses to stop drinking entirely. 
full stop. it's one thing I have zero tolerance for.
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 06-09-2022 23:34
Private
World famous



Barbarella wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
Claire wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
She knew I didn't like him because he is a racist, homophobic, transphobic idiot who threw around slurs like it was nothing and tbh I'm still pissed she didn't value me enough to have a serious problem with his views but I still intend to keep my mouth shut.

It's hard tho
i had a hard time with soemthing like this when my sister was with an abusive man. like idk i had this like idea in my head that after he was cruel to ME she would care about ME enough to leave the guy. but she didnt even care about herself enough to leave an abuser so why would she care about me enough like that.
Maybe she fell victim to
the maybe I can change him virus.
I don't know if its so much women thinking "I can change him"
but rather, "it took me this long to find someone so I need to try and make him better because no one else wants me"

at least when you dig into it a little deeper. 
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 06-09-2022 23:35
Private
World famous



Barbarella wrote:
Claire wrote:
my point is just like i get being hurt when your sister wont like choose you when you feel a way about her partner like that shit sucks like youre my sister and you should respect me and love me enough that my opinion here should carry weight lmao but it just doesnt 
also just being with abusers also literally poisons your brain and you just can't make good choices or think rationally until you've been out of it for several months. All your brain lets you do is make excuses for it so you don't feel like as much of a fool. 

our brain is literally programmed to protect itself and sometimes that means hella gross cognitive dissonance and poor priorities lol
20
Posts: 8718
Date: 06-09-2022 23:38
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