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Cobain
International Star

cobain wrote:

Poe wrote:

cobain wrote:

Poe wrote:
honestly yeah, "habibi"= my love , u say it to everyone

yeah i know habibi is commonly used but i've never heard baby being used like that rly
but fair enough like he says it to everyone, not just girls so alright. but since he's calling me baby as well it's like hffhfgh yeah. but i'm "swedish baby" apparently. not arabic baby

nope then 'baby' is not common at all, especially if u live in sweden

He's only lived here for like 3 years though
He says that baby in Arabic is more brotherly or sisterly idk

Private
Youtube Star

Limbs wrote:

cobain wrote:
anyways i called him just now and had a talk with him, asked him if he'd removed her name and he said no bc he hadn't thought of it, but told me he was doing it right away. i explained to him why it bothered me. even if it's just for jokes i told him it makes me sad. bc he's with me so why have another girl's name and a heart in your insta name? or anywhere for that matter.

so we ended up talking a bit more about stuff regarding this. like certain situations that we haven't really talked about and just... our thoughts about everything. he brought up that his ex was very jealous and possessive, which he's told me before, and he told me he doesn't wanna go through that again and especially not with me because he loves me and wants to be with me. i told him i don't want it to be like that either, but certain things make me uncomfortable and upsets me and he should respect that. and the other way around ofc, some things make him upset and i should respect that.
so we got some clarity.
we're seeing each other tomorrow again and then i look forward to just being with him without there being any issues. i feel ok now (i'm still sleep deprived as hell tho so feels like i've downed 15 redbulls at once but)

i've been really fine the last 3 weeks or so. we were at a party 3 weeks ago and i kinda went off the rails a bit with the jealousy but after that it was like... everything just disappeared? i felt so calm and secure with him just out of the blue? but the psycho came back now the other day with all of this shit. so obviously still some issues going on here heh but i hope that after this conversation i'll generally feel calmer. bc we haven't really had a big talk about it like that before

honestly this sounds to me like he might be trying to manipulate you out of your very valid feelings of concern when he's the one acting weird and disrespectful. it's not psycho to be jealous when your bf is doing things that look like he's flirting with other girls?? i'm not saying he's lying because yeah, his ex probably was jealous if he acted like this with her as well. not her fault

my ex used to tell me his previous gf's caused so much drama, and that i needed to stop causing drama or he couldn't be with me anymore and he really didn't want that because he loved me so much and i was his sweet princess etcetc. when the fact was i wasn't causing drama, i was getting upset because he was treating me like shit. the sweet-talking just makes it seem like he's not treating you like crap when he is. your bf rn is implying that he can't be with you if you're too jealous and possessive, like he's kinda blackmailing you to control your own behavior under the threat of breaking up

also the fact that after having a problem/difficult conversations he would pull away and not talk to you & leave you to wonder if y'all are okay, is not good. you should be able to talk to your partner about this stuff! you should be able to ask him if he's mad. that's not bothering him too much, that's normal relationship stuff. and if he's mad he should talk to you and work through it. this relationship is not stable at all if you're constantly wondering where you stand and not getting clear communication

you're not being unreasonable.

Private
Youtube Star

Delusion1111111 wrote:

cobain wrote:
he ended up sending me a message last night like "hello u, all good??" n i was like "hiya, yesssss, u good??" and he said yes. asked if i could call him cuz i missed him so he called me. felt a bit off again but i mean yeah he said he was tired n stuff. i tried being normal lol and a bit cute and he responded back to me being cute but idk. asked him what he was doing tomorrow (now today) and he said nothing so asked if i could come and he said yes

we were both at work today and ofc it felt a bit strange at first but then it felt a bit better. then after a while he said his friend is coming over today so that means i won't be coming over hah. i felt disappointed but tried keeping a straight face (suck at that tho) and he blew me kisses under his face mask. then stroked me a bit and asked if i wanted a massage so he gave me a massage.
then it felt a bit weird again. he talked to a coworker during breakfast (one who knows about us, they're good friends and he's nice) and i'm scared they talked about me lol. idk why. don't know why my bf would do that at work. coworker didn't act weird to me afterwards but idk i'm just in my head.
so then i met bf as i was leaving and he was like "going home?? what are u doing later" and i said i was doing nothing. so he said he'll call me once he quits. then stroked me again as we walked past each other

fuck i'm nauseous as hell bc i feel like he'll break up with me or say something bad. but then again he stroked me, gave me a massage, winked at me etc at work so why'd he do that if he's gonna break up with me u know.... maybe just to not be sus at work and make me sad idfk

am i completely misunderstanding or did u ask if u could come over today n he said yes , n then at work he casually reveals that hes actually seeing his friend tonight which means u cant come over ?

and then u say 'i felt disappointed but tried keeping a straight face' like bro why didnt u say anything ? u dont have to keep a straight face in that situation ? thats objectively inconsiderate n rude ? i dont understand

Cobain
International Star

cobain wrote:
so we cleared things out and whatnot. but i'm ngl i'm still annoyed and still a bit jealous. he doesn't seem to see the issue and that grinds my gears. i've told him that i've met a TON of cheating and dishonest men and he's like "but i'm not one of them am i" but LIKE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT WHEN UR BASICALLY ACTING LIKE A FUCKBOY LOOOOOOOOOL?????
anyways we spent a couple of days together this week. i AM still jealous about that girl he plays with. i just find it weird, you know? like he plays a lot and he's said he didn't use to do that when he was with me before, when he lived out of town, bc then we saw each other less frequently so he wanted to just be with me. but uhh idk i still feel like we're not seeing each other so much lol.
yeah it just feels off to me that he's talking to the group chat and her a lot, even when they're not playing, and literally going up in the middle of the night to play? she lives in a different country in a different time zone, it's afternoon for her when it's night here so what other reason to go up if it's not for her? ofc that gets in my head when i'm already jealous as is? when was the last time we slept together an entire night looool?? and also not understanding what they're saying bc they're speaking arabic?? i can just go off idk tones and certain words i recognize??
but then i thought ok, whatever, he's shown me, sent voice chats of me in that group n stuff and he talks to me when he's talking to her so obviously she must know of me idk. decided to calm down, and i did, he played for several hours the other night and it was ok. and like, i'm trying to trust him. if he'll do something shitty to me i can take it out on him then instead of beforehand, you know?

although now idk. he went out of town yesterday to his friends. he told me he might stay there over the weekend bc there's a party (with a girl who tried sucking his dick a few months ago so that's fucking fun) or go to another town bc his best friend is moving there today.
he hasn't talked to me all day? i sent him just a random pic this morning which he never replied to. about 2 hours ago i asked him what he was doing (partly bc i wanna know if he's partying or not, like he's allowed to it's not that, i just feel like he should tell me when he expects me to tell him if i'm partying or going out, and also bc we haven't fucking talked today so i wanna talk a bit). he opened it an hour ago but hasn't replied and i am FUMING. if he doesn't reply then sure as hell i'm gonna make a deal about it tomorrow bc it's just fucking disrespectful, isn't it? i'm his fucking girlfriend, it's not too much to ask to fucking TALK to ur partner lol. and it's not too much to ask to want to know what he's up to when he expects that of me!!!!!!
ugh

Cobain
International Star

cobain wrote:
so put makeup on and dressed nicely, danced in front of the mirror for a while trying to feel empowered or smth. fuck men and so on
started to cry so literally all dolled up and dancing while crying. love that 4 me

he just replied
a chat. which is sus to me. i literally don't trust this man lol god
i've not opened it, just peeked so haven't seen all of it but says smth like he's back with his friend and he's going home or smth and he misses me idk
since i'm fucked in the head i might find ways to see if he was at the party or not anyways. jealous girls = fbi or whatever

MissLondon
World Famous

MissLondon wrote:

cobain wrote:
so put makeup on and dressed nicely, danced in front of the mirror for a while trying to feel empowered or smth. fuck men and so on
started to cry so literally all dolled up and dancing while crying. love that 4 me

he just replied
a chat. which is sus to me. i literally don't trust this man lol god
i've not opened it, just peeked so haven't seen all of it but says smth like he's back with his friend and he's going home or smth and he misses me idk
since i'm fucked in the head i might find ways to see if he was at the party or not anyways. jealous girls = fbi or whatever

Repair your makeup if necessary
and go out?

Cobain
International Star

cobain wrote:

MissLondon wrote:

cobain wrote:
so put makeup on and dressed nicely, danced in front of the mirror for a while trying to feel empowered or smth. fuck men and so on
started to cry so literally all dolled up and dancing while crying. love that 4 me

he just replied
a chat. which is sus to me. i literally don't trust this man lol god
i've not opened it, just peeked so haven't seen all of it but says smth like he's back with his friend and he's going home or smth and he misses me idk
since i'm fucked in the head i might find ways to see if he was at the party or not anyways. jealous girls = fbi or whatever

Repair your makeup if necessary
and go out?

i puked on friday and probably have (or had) the stomach flu so couldn't go out : (

Private
International Star

meilin wrote:

Limbs wrote:

cobain wrote:
anyways i called him just now and had a talk with him, asked him if he'd removed her name and he said no bc he hadn't thought of it, but told me he was doing it right away. i explained to him why it bothered me. even if it's just for jokes i told him it makes me sad. bc he's with me so why have another girl's name and a heart in your insta name? or anywhere for that matter.

so we ended up talking a bit more about stuff regarding this. like certain situations that we haven't really talked about and just... our thoughts about everything. he brought up that his ex was very jealous and possessive, which he's told me before, and he told me he doesn't wanna go through that again and especially not with me because he loves me and wants to be with me. i told him i don't want it to be like that either, but certain things make me uncomfortable and upsets me and he should respect that. and the other way around ofc, some things make him upset and i should respect that.
so we got some clarity.
we're seeing each other tomorrow again and then i look forward to just being with him without there being any issues. i feel ok now (i'm still sleep deprived as hell tho so feels like i've downed 15 redbulls at once but)

i've been really fine the last 3 weeks or so. we were at a party 3 weeks ago and i kinda went off the rails a bit with the jealousy but after that it was like... everything just disappeared? i felt so calm and secure with him just out of the blue? but the psycho came back now the other day with all of this shit. so obviously still some issues going on here heh but i hope that after this conversation i'll generally feel calmer. bc we haven't really had a big talk about it like that before

honestly this sounds to me like he might be trying to manipulate you out of your very valid feelings of concern when he's the one acting weird and disrespectful. it's not psycho to be jealous when your bf is doing things that look like he's flirting with other girls?? i'm not saying he's lying because yeah, his ex probably was jealous if he acted like this with her as well. not her fault

my ex used to tell me his previous gf's caused so much drama, and that i needed to stop causing drama or he couldn't be with me anymore and he really didn't want that because he loved me so much and i was his sweet princess etcetc. when the fact was i wasn't causing drama, i was getting upset because he was treating me like shit. the sweet-talking just makes it seem like he's not treating you like crap when he is. your bf rn is implying that he can't be with you if you're too jealous and possessive, like he's kinda blackmailing you to control your own behavior under the threat of breaking up

also the fact that after having a problem/difficult conversations he would pull away and not talk to you & leave you to wonder if y'all are okay, is not good. you should be able to talk to your partner about this stuff! you should be able to ask him if he's mad. that's not bothering him too much, that's normal relationship stuff. and if he's mad he should talk to you and work through it. this relationship is not stable at all if you're constantly wondering where you stand and not getting clear communication

you're not being unreasonable.

exactly.

Sol
National Star

Sol wrote:
the more i hear abt this guy the more i dislike him!!!!!!!!

Cobain
International Star

cobain wrote:
trying to chill. trying to think rational thoughts n whatever
he has introduced me to his entire family. some coworkers know about us and i know one of them would give him hell if he ever hurt me. group chat, including that girl, knows about me. he has invited me to a family wedding in 2ish months etc etc

later today, in the evening after i've quit work, i'm gonna call him and ask if he wants to be with me this weekend. i have some plans, like i want to make him dinner on friday and drink some wine and have a cozy night in, make a great breakfast on saturday morning, then we can either go out clubbing w some friends but if they can't go out, we can go out to eat at a restaurant by ourselves.
i'm just scared he's gonna say no bc he has other plans loool. bc i feel like he's so busy all the time, always has plans. sorta like his friends come first all the time, you know? he can't say no to them but he can say no to me. he can cancel plans with me for them but not the other way around. i feel like he just squeezes me in somewhere when he happens to have a little "gap" in his schedule, if u know what i mean? i don't like that. i need to be prioritized in a relationship. not ALL the time, but sometimes. you need to have balance, u can't just prioritize ur friends all the time. and u can't prioritize ur gf all the time either. balance, as i said.
and i actually brought this up to him about 2 weeks ago, told him he's making plans with me and cancels last minute for his friends n shit. he told me he'd stop that, but i think he meant just stop.. making plans with me if he's not gonna go through with them, not that he'll prioritize me. and i questioned him then when the last time we had a weekend together was. he couldn't answer but i know when it was and it was fucking JANUARY. we haven't had a weekend together in 3 fucking months looool wtf.
so if he can't be with me this weekend i'll probably lose my shit and he'll think i'm being unreasonable but so be it, it's not unreasonable and i know that. don't be in a relationship if you can't think of and consider your partner.
and if we end up not spending the weekend together i'll go out clubbing lmfao

Private
National Star

Sobbing wrote:

Venus wrote:
arab dudes can't be trusted

Laoe
Youtube Star

laoe wrote:

cobain wrote:
so we cleared things out and whatnot. but i'm ngl i'm still annoyed and still a bit jealous. he doesn't seem to see the issue and that grinds my gears. i've told him that i've met a TON of cheating and dishonest men and he's like "but i'm not one of them am i" but LIKE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT WHEN UR BASICALLY ACTING LIKE A FUCKBOY LOOOOOOOOOL?????
anyways we spent a couple of days together this week. i AM still jealous about that girl he plays with. i just find it weird, you know? like he plays a lot and he's said he didn't use to do that when he was with me before, when he lived out of town, bc then we saw each other less frequently so he wanted to just be with me. but uhh idk i still feel like we're not seeing each other so much lol.
yeah it just feels off to me that he's talking to the group chat and her a lot, even when they're not playing, and literally going up in the middle of the night to play? she lives in a different country in a different time zone, it's afternoon for her when it's night here so what other reason to go up if it's not for her? ofc that gets in my head when i'm already jealous as is? when was the last time we slept together an entire night looool?? and also not understanding what they're saying bc they're speaking arabic?? i can just go off idk tones and certain words i recognize??
but then i thought ok, whatever, he's shown me, sent voice chats of me in that group n stuff and he talks to me when he's talking to her so obviously she must know of me idk. decided to calm down, and i did, he played for several hours the other night and it was ok. and like, i'm trying to trust him. if he'll do something shitty to me i can take it out on him then instead of beforehand, you know?

although now idk. he went out of town yesterday to his friends. he told me he might stay there over the weekend bc there's a party (with a girl who tried sucking his dick a few months ago so that's fucking fun) or go to another town bc his best friend is moving there today.
he hasn't talked to me all day? i sent him just a random pic this morning which he never replied to. about 2 hours ago i asked him what he was doing (partly bc i wanna know if he's partying or not, like he's allowed to it's not that, i just feel like he should tell me when he expects me to tell him if i'm partying or going out, and also bc we haven't fucking talked today so i wanna talk a bit). he opened it an hour ago but hasn't replied and i am FUMING. if he doesn't reply then sure as hell i'm gonna make a deal about it tomorrow bc it's just fucking disrespectful, isn't it? i'm his fucking girlfriend, it's not too much to ask to fucking TALK to ur partner lol. and it's not too much to ask to want to know what he's up to when he expects that of me!!!!!!
ugh

I don't really understand why you'd choose to stay with someone who's making you worry so much, hurting you
Like, I'd rather be at peace and not care what the hell he's doing than try to make myself believe he's a good boyfriend, because everything I've read so far about him makes me think he is not

Private
International Star

Potion wrote:
i fully agree with limbs up there^

1 he doesnt prioritize you, literally not even when ur in the same room as him nor when u havent seen him for days
2 hes not considerate of ur feelings and when confronted with your feelings he doesnt try to reassure you or make you feel safe in the relationship, but rather spins them into an issue
3 he doesnt communicate

basically he seems shady af and i dont want to tell you what you should do because of course we dont have the full picture but i hope you take a step back, think throughly over what limbs said and these points^ (if you find truth in them then that should be a big red flag)

relationships are always work, as two individuals coming together wont just melt together perfectly, but if all the work and worrying is on your shoulders, then the other person just isnt invested and its time to let go

Cobain
International Star

cobain wrote:
i have reached a new low. i am not well in the head and just cause problems for those around me. you can't live with me and i don't know why i put people through being with me. i have fucked up badly

yesterday at work he asked me if i can transfer money to him and i'll get it in cash. quite a decent amount of money. i said yes, didn't think much of it until a bit later on my way home. it didn't really make sense to me. it sounded shady. he has a business and a few months ago me, him and this person he has the business with drank and they talked about tax fraud and whatever. i can't remember if he ever said he had a part in it but whatever, i didn't think about it again until yesterday.
i called him and asked why he needed the money on his bank account or whatever. i should've stopped there and just let him explain. but before he even said anything i said it sounded a bit weird. he explained, he asked what i meant by it being weird so i mentioned money laundering. but since he explained i agreed to doing it but he said i didn't need to if i thought it was weird, he'd ask someone else.
we didn't talk after that yesterday.

today at work he was super strange to me. like avoided me, barely looked at me. cold. off. strange. i asked him several times if everything was good and he just said yes but kept being strange. i understood it was because of yesterday but i didn't fully understand why he would've gotten so upset over it (ofc i understood that suspecting someone of money laundering isn't appreciated. esp not your boyfriend but somehow i didn't think it was this bad). i've had to leave the floor several times because i was close to tears and it has not been good today. not at all.

i asked him to call me once i got home. so he called me a bit later. i asked if he was fine and he said yes, i asked him if he's sure and he asked me what i thought. i told him he'd been very weird to me all day. so we got into that. again, i have fucked up badly. he questioned why i should be with someone i don't trust and why he should be with someone who doesn't trust him. questioned how i could even think of him in that way, that he'd do something like that and so on. i explained to him why the thought had even crossed my mind, that talk about tax fraud and stuff, and he was like "so you've thought of me in that way for 4 months?" and i told him no. he asked if i thought of him like that just because he's not swedish. of course i said no, i would've been equally as suspicious of a swedish person in this exact situation. god idk. we talked some more. he said he had gotten extremely upset yesterday. he said he thinks of my heart but when i asked that question i didn't think of his. how that made him feel. he said that never in his life has anyone ever accused him of anything like that, but I could. his GIRLFRIEND.
i apologized to him, i told him i'd fucked up badly. i told him i love him so much and he said he loves me too. he said he needs a few days and it'll be forgotten, but i hurt him and i undesrtand that. i started to cry, he tried getting me to stop. we said we love each other some more. weekend plans are off because he doesn't want to see me right now and i understand that. he said he'll call me when he quits work tomorrow.

i have cried for 2 hours straight. had a fullblown panic attack. what was i even thinking? who the fuck am i? accusing my own boyfriend of money laundering? what the fuck? how could i not think of his feelings yesterday? literally? how dumb can you be?
god i love this man so much and i am no good for him. awlays causing problems. always talking out of my ass. just. no fucking good.

Cobain
International Star

cobain wrote:
what type of psychosis am i living in
what the fuck is wrong with me
why am i like this
i don't want to be like this
i don't want to be me