breaking up - Forum - Virtual Popstar

Private
National Star

kagura wrote:
well... that sucks that it came down to that texting thing. but give him time to digest that, i'm sure he wants to talk with you and hear your reasons sooner or later. probably sooner because why wouldn't anyone?
it's never easy but no point in being in a relationship that doesn't serve anyone

MissLondon
World Famous

MissLondon wrote:

cobain wrote:
ok no he jsut replied with "no". just no
i understand that. it makes me sad but you know. yeah
im crying again. i hate that ive hurt him

You know how I feel about you
and that you have a good heart
i also believe that you don’t wish to hurt him
but also think about yourself.
I’m glad that you’re refusing to settle
just for the sake of being in a relationship
or thinking you won’t find someone else.
You’ve endured and conquered worse things
you’ll find your way with this too❤️

Cobain
International Star

cobain wrote:
"i do have one thing to say.
when you've been together for a year, you usually talk BEFORE you break up. when you feel like there's something wrong in the relationship... so that you can solve the problem. or at least try solving them. but i guess that's whatever to you, YOU have had time to prepare mentally for this. that it's possibly a mindfuck out of the ordinary for me doesn't matter. because that's right, sorry, that's not your problem. i get to suit myself. especially after last weekend when we basically celebrated one year together and i went on and on about how much you mean to me, then of course i'd have to expect to get dumped a week later.
or..... it doesn't work like that when you aren't scared to invest your emotions in someone.

so that was what i had to say. have a nice evening and enjoy the single life!"

murder me

Private
Streetmusician

kruspersille wrote:

cobain wrote:
"i do have one thing to say.
when you've been together for a year, you usually talk BEFORE you break up. when you feel like there's something wrong in the relationship... so that you can solve the problem. or at least try solving them. but i guess that's whatever to you, YOU have had time to prepare mentally for this. that it's possibly a mindfuck out of the ordinary for me doesn't matter. because that's right, sorry, that's not your problem. i get to suit myself. especially after last weekend when we basically celebrated one year together and i went on and on about how much you mean to me, then of course i'd have to expect to get dumped a week later.
or..... it doesn't work like that when you aren't scared to invest your emotions in someone.

so that was what i had to say. have a nice evening and enjoy the single life!"

murder me

lmao pls

Private
Streetmusician

kruspersille wrote:
as if u didnt ask to sit down
and talk
before

his fault he asked u to do it over text, literally not urs by any means

MissLondon
World Famous

MissLondon wrote:

cobain wrote:
"i do have one thing to say.
when you've been together for a year, you usually talk BEFORE you break up. when you feel like there's something wrong in the relationship... so that you can solve the problem. or at least try solving them. but i guess that's whatever to you, YOU have had time to prepare mentally for this. that it's possibly a mindfuck out of the ordinary for me doesn't matter. because that's right, sorry, that's not your problem. i get to suit myself. especially after last weekend when we basically celebrated one year together and i went on and on about how much you mean to me, then of course i'd have to expect to get dumped a week later.
or..... it doesn't work like that when you aren't scared to invest your emotions in someone.

so that was what i had to say. have a nice evening and enjoy the single life!"

murder me

I wouldn’t bother to respond further
anywho, I’ve invested too much
into a relationship that’s not my own today lol
good luck

Private
National Star

kagura wrote:

cobain wrote:
"i do have one thing to say.
when you've been together for a year, you usually talk BEFORE you break up. when you feel like there's something wrong in the relationship... so that you can solve the problem. or at least try solving them. but i guess that's whatever to you, YOU have had time to prepare mentally for this. that it's possibly a mindfuck out of the ordinary for me doesn't matter. because that's right, sorry, that's not your problem. i get to suit myself. especially after last weekend when we basically celebrated one year together and i went on and on about how much you mean to me, then of course i'd have to expect to get dumped a week later.
or..... it doesn't work like that when you aren't scared to invest your emotions in someone.

so that was what i had to say. have a nice evening and enjoy the single life!"

murder me

that's not even that bad tho. i mean he has probably lots of emotions going on right now, he didn't expect you to leave him, so of course he's mad and confused. so you could assume someone who's just been left to write more mean and rude things
is not your responsible how he reacts, but please give him an explanation people always deserve that at least

Private
World Famous

Barbarella wrote:

cobain wrote:
"i do have one thing to say.
when you've been together for a year, you usually talk BEFORE you break up. when you feel like there's something wrong in the relationship... so that you can solve the problem. or at least try solving them. but i guess that's whatever to you, YOU have had time to prepare mentally for this. that it's possibly a mindfuck out of the ordinary for me doesn't matter. because that's right, sorry, that's not your problem. i get to suit myself. especially after last weekend when we basically celebrated one year together and i went on and on about how much you mean to me, then of course i'd have to expect to get dumped a week later.
or..... it doesn't work like that when you aren't scared to invest your emotions in someone.

so that was what i had to say. have a nice evening and enjoy the single life!"

murder me

I mean it'll probably take a minute for it to circle back around to him that nothing good can come of trying to have a relationship with someone who doesn't wanna be with you - but he needs time.

Private
World Famous

Versailles wrote:

cobain wrote:
"i do have one thing to say.
when you've been together for a year, you usually talk BEFORE you break up. when you feel like there's something wrong in the relationship... so that you can solve the problem. or at least try solving them. but i guess that's whatever to you, YOU have had time to prepare mentally for this. that it's possibly a mindfuck out of the ordinary for me doesn't matter. because that's right, sorry, that's not your problem. i get to suit myself. especially after last weekend when we basically celebrated one year together and i went on and on about how much you mean to me, then of course i'd have to expect to get dumped a week later.
or..... it doesn't work like that when you aren't scared to invest your emotions in someone.

so that was what i had to say. have a nice evening and enjoy the single life!"

murder me

I disagree about talking about issues - the issues were there but no actions. Also you expressed you want to meet up and talk etc. He pushed you to know the truth right away on text, and you couldn't really lie.

Take his words for enjoy the single life, not in a bitter way. You're in your mid twenties and don't need to rush settling down. I think that age it's still important to see people and learn what's gonna be important later for your and what's a no-no etc. He in other hand needs to work on himself and honestly meet someone his age range.

You gonna feel a relief and find peace. Honestly from what i've read abt him and the issues it's better to cut ties.

Private
International Star

ThugWorkout wrote:
I’m not sure because I’ve never broken up with anyone but the truth is the best. No point stringing him along and keeping yourself miserable, it’ll just hurt you both more. I’m glad you’re doing this tho cos I remember seeing your other posts about how unhappy you was and you deserve someone who is what you want

Cobain
International Star

cobain wrote:
im so fucking sad. like it hit me so hard and i cant stop crying
idk what to reply to him and i feel like a bitch. i miss him. i thought of saying like what a good person he is, how much fun we've had together and all our great memories and that i'll always be grateful that i've had him in my life. and that this is one of the hardest things i've had to do, but that i had to do it for me. and for him too, which he won't understand now but that i hope he'll be able to look back at me one day and not be filled with rage. or something
but idk maybe its a bad idea

Octocat
Princess of Pop

octocat wrote:

cobain wrote:
im so fucking sad. like it hit me so hard and i cant stop crying
idk what to reply to him and i feel like a bitch. i miss him. i thought of saying like what a good person he is, how much fun we've had together and all our great memories and that i'll always be grateful that i've had him in my life. and that this is one of the hardest things i've had to do, but that i had to do it for me. and for him too, which he won't understand now but that i hope he'll be able to look back at me one day and not be filled with rage. or something
but idk maybe its a bad idea

hi, i'm just swooping in out of nowhere but i read your thread earlier today and i just gotta say

as someone who's emotional af I'd say it doesn't have to be a bad idea to tell him that you're grateful for the time you had, even if this breakup is the right thing for you doesn't mean the time you spent together was bad/for nothing. And if telling him that you've had fun together etcetc to get closure, you should do that, without the expectation of a reply from him, just do it for yourself.

To have someone in your life for a significant amount of time will always affect you even when that relationship ends. So allow yourself to cry and to miss him, without forgetting the reasons you decided to break up, remind yourself why you might be stronger on your own right now and after a while you'll be able to look back with happiness. ♥

Private
Youtube Star

Delusion1111111 wrote:
im sooooooo proud of u and uve 10000% made the right decision n it will get easier soon, i know u know that !

Private
World Famous

Versailles wrote:

cobain wrote:
im so fucking sad. like it hit me so hard and i cant stop crying
idk what to reply to him and i feel like a bitch. i miss him. i thought of saying like what a good person he is, how much fun we've had together and all our great memories and that i'll always be grateful that i've had him in my life. and that this is one of the hardest things i've had to do, but that i had to do it for me. and for him too, which he won't understand now but that i hope he'll be able to look back at me one day and not be filled with rage. or something
but idk maybe its a bad idea

You did the right thing. I promise if you had this gut feeling and been feeling to cut off because of various of reasons it's the best to do it sooner than later.
I'm super upset over myself for not leaving my previous ex and it was 1 year in too. Altough I loved him there was issues and needs not met and asked for the talk - I was mentally ready to leave but later on it was just emty promises and lied a tiny bit to keep me around for two years more. I wish I could even say on text like you did that i'm breaking it off and don't want this no more, because that would be for the best.
It was a brave and right decision you made.

Look at this as new fresh start, you will be okay. It's a bit uncomfortable because you're used to see/talk to him. The best thing you can do for both to heal is go no contact with him after a talk/closure/giving stuff back. I hope you both will be on good terms. You shouldn't be guilty for breaking it off; people in relationship have the right to leave if it doesn't sit right/work for them.

Sending love

Cobain
International Star

cobain wrote:
thank you all so much, this whole process would've been a million times harder without vp ♡♡♡♡
he has sent me some angry messages. i never answered that message he sent last night, so at around 11 i got this message

"i understand now sofie, holy shit.... you've longed to get rid of me for a long time but not had the guts to say it. fuck.... how fucking long have you waited to get out of this charade? like... this morning i was shocked as fuck and i've been confused and i don't know what all day. but now when i realize what it's probably about i feel myself dying inside. you can't do that do people. don't you understand you've totally fucked my psyche? for real!"

so i answered "that's not how it's like. i would love to meet up and talk. i've never wanted to hurt you, never"

and he said
"no i don't think so either. you've been scared to hurt me so instead you've told me you love me, that you're attracted of me and fuck knows what. i fell apart now, i really mean it. there's nothing to talk about, stop pretending! i can't believe this is for real. fuck. i can't find the words now, there's no words for this"

and two hour laters he wrote this
"i'm grabbing all your things and putting them in a bag in the hallway. get it when i'm at school some day. bring all of my shit that's still left at yours and leave it at the same time. then lock the door and put the key in the letter box and then we're done with each other forever.
i won't even look at you if i see you"

so. great. just great