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age gaps in hook ups relationships
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
But yeah I probably wont because it's a good point that since I'm so hesitant or worried I'd unintentionally have too much power (which I would want to avoid) that it's not a good idea. I appreciate all the input here. 

I get they're legal but deciding shit is ok because its legal is naive lol. 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 06-07-2021 22:50
Private
World Famous



Claire wrote:
lexi i think some people get extra triggered and angry about these kind of things because of their own traumas so if someone is reacting to this very strongly to this thread its probably coming from them seeing what youre saying as comparable to their own experiences of being hurt and abused by someone older. just a guess but i think a lot of the hostility youre seeing in this thread is coming from young girls gays and theys who have been hurt by someone older. like i know that youre aware how common that is and its probably where your hesitation is coming from. i just wouldnt take offense to the hostility here- but i would pay attention to it.
21
Posts: 55745
Date: 06-07-2021 22:54
Heist
National Star



heist wrote:
woah this is the one issue vp gets puritanical about lol

honestly my bigger objection is that they're your coworker tbh even if you're going to quit they're kind of like embedded in your current and maybe ongoing social circle which makes casual *** tricky 
17
Posts: 2105
Date: 06-07-2021 23:30
Heist
National Star



heist wrote:
it also seems like a massive leap to call this sexual predation lmao

also an "imbalance of power" doesn't necessarily imply exploitation or an 'unhealthy' relationship (physical or emotional) ... unless you want to open the conversation up to every heterosexual or mixed class or interracial relationship et al ... in which case fair! stick to your guns
17
Posts: 2105
Date: 06-07-2021 23:34
Private
Popstar



ouch wrote:
Do they wanna do stuff w u or is it just u that u know of that wants to do anything 
16
Posts: 95664
Date: 06-07-2021 23:35
Private
World Famous



Claire wrote:
heist wrote:
woah this is the one issue vp gets puritanical about lol

honestly my bigger objection is that they're your coworker tbh even if you're going to quit they're kind of like embedded in your current and maybe ongoing social circle which makes casual *** tricky 
like weve literally had threads from people who are nineteen wanting to be with someone in their late twenties that did not go this way lmfao like if it were the younger person posting the hostility wouldnt have happened in this thread there would have been some light 'watch for red flag' warnings but no direct like hostility lmfao 

vp thinks age gaps are ok only depending which side of the story theyre hearing
21
Posts: 55745
Date: 06-07-2021 23:47
Private
World Famous



Claire wrote:
Claire wrote:
heist wrote:
woah this is the one issue vp gets puritanical about lol

honestly my bigger objection is that they're your coworker tbh even if you're going to quit they're kind of like embedded in your current and maybe ongoing social circle which makes casual *** tricky 
like weve literally had threads from people who are nineteen wanting to be with someone in their late twenties that did not go this way lmfao like if it were the younger person posting the hostility wouldnt have happened in this thread there would have been some light 'watch for red flag' warnings but no direct like hostility lmfao 

vp thinks age gaps are ok only depending which side of the story theyre hearing
i mean people have gotten even more hostile and rude defending age gaps that are like majorly problematic lmfao
21
Posts: 55745
Date: 06-07-2021 23:50
MissLondon
World Famous



MissLondon wrote:
Maybe you should have asked this
in another thread.
another user posted about
hooking up with a 51 y/o
and the replies weren’t condemning 
🤷🏾‍♀️
20
Posts: 28092
Date: 06-07-2021 23:54
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
Claire wrote:
lexi i think some people get extra triggered and angry about these kind of things because of their own traumas so if someone is reacting to this very strongly to this thread its probably coming from them seeing what youre saying as comparable to their own experiences of being hurt and abused by someone older. just a guess but i think a lot of the hostility youre seeing in this thread is coming from young girls gays and theys who have been hurt by someone older. like i know that youre aware how common that is and its probably where your hesitation is coming from. i just wouldnt take offense to the hostility here- but i would pay attention to it.
Well yeah look at onision, that was so clearly a groomer who trapped young girls in their late teens and abused them. 

My issue with acidreflux is not her concerns inasmuch as I think she is misrepresenting my intentions, such as assuming dependency. I only considered roommates because we both struggle financially and live with family for the time being, and they dont have a friend they could room with. The goal would be for us to get other living arrangements at the end of the lease, which we've discussed. I also was never set on it. I've considered rooming with a friend of mine who's like 33. I just thought itd be a way for triana to experience living on their own for the first time and build a rental history to gain future leverage for other apartments they'd be interested in. It's really hard to get a first place with zero credit and rental history, I wouldnt mind helping em gain independence. 

Or you know, assuming I'm looking for a romantic relationship, no matter how many times I tell them I'm not. Though like Barbarella said young people have difficulty processing emotions during sex, and I definitely worry they'd get attached. Also I'm far more experienced. Could I truly level the playing field tbh?
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 06-07-2021 23:57
Private
World Famous



Claire wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Claire wrote:
lexi i think some people get extra triggered and angry about these kind of things because of their own traumas so if someone is reacting to this very strongly to this thread its probably coming from them seeing what youre saying as comparable to their own experiences of being hurt and abused by someone older. just a guess but i think a lot of the hostility youre seeing in this thread is coming from young girls gays and theys who have been hurt by someone older. like i know that youre aware how common that is and its probably where your hesitation is coming from. i just wouldnt take offense to the hostility here- but i would pay attention to it.
Well yeah look at onision, that was so clearly a groomer who trapped young girls in their late teens and abused them. 

My issue with acidreflux is not her concerns inasmuch as I think she is misrepresenting my intentions, such as assuming dependency. I only considered roommates because we both struggle financially and live with family for the time being, and they dont have a friend they could room with. The goal would be for us to get other living arrangements at the end of the lease, which we've discussed. I also was never set on it. I've considered rooming with a friend of mine who's like 33. I just thought itd be a way for triana to experience living on their own for the first time and build a rental history to gain future leverage for other apartments they'd be interested in. It's really hard to get a first place with zero credit and rental history, I wouldnt mind helping em gain independence. 

Or you know, assuming I'm looking for a romantic relationship, no matter how many times I tell them I'm not. Though like Barbarella said young people have difficulty processing emotions during sex, and I definitely worry they'd get attached. Also I'm far more experienced. Could I truly level the playing field tbh?

im litearlly 31 and would get attached to anyone i might fuck oxytocin is an addictive substance lmfao
21
Posts: 55745
Date: 06-07-2021 23:59
Private
World Famous



Claire wrote:
but like idk i think theres always that possibility of like falling in love and attachement when you KNOW your hookup??? like if you just wanna hookup with no strings you cant do it with someone in like your social circle there are strings there already. 
21
Posts: 55745
Date: 07-07-2021 00:01
Private
World Famous



Claire wrote:
Claire wrote:
but like idk i think theres always that possibility of like falling in love and attachement when you KNOW your hookup??? like if you just wanna hookup with no strings you cant do it with someone in like your social circle there are strings there already. 
but like i say that as a person who has never been able to separate sex from romance theyre just inherently linked for me but i know they arent for other people- but like also you dont know who is gonna havethat mentality or not right?
21
Posts: 55745
Date: 07-07-2021 00:02
MissLondon
World Famous



MissLondon wrote:
Claire wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Claire wrote:
lexi i think some people get extra triggered and angry about these kind of things because of their own traumas so if someone is reacting to this very strongly to this thread its probably coming from them seeing what youre saying as comparable to their own experiences of being hurt and abused by someone older. just a guess but i think a lot of the hostility youre seeing in this thread is coming from young girls gays and theys who have been hurt by someone older. like i know that youre aware how common that is and its probably where your hesitation is coming from. i just wouldnt take offense to the hostility here- but i would pay attention to it.
Well yeah look at onision, that was so clearly a groomer who trapped young girls in their late teens and abused them. 

My issue with acidreflux is not her concerns inasmuch as I think she is misrepresenting my intentions, such as assuming dependency. I only considered roommates because we both struggle financially and live with family for the time being, and they dont have a friend they could room with. The goal would be for us to get other living arrangements at the end of the lease, which we've discussed. I also was never set on it. I've considered rooming with a friend of mine who's like 33. I just thought itd be a way for triana to experience living on their own for the first time and build a rental history to gain future leverage for other apartments they'd be interested in. It's really hard to get a first place with zero credit and rental history, I wouldnt mind helping em gain independence. 

Or you know, assuming I'm looking for a romantic relationship, no matter how many times I tell them I'm not. Though like Barbarella said young people have difficulty processing emotions during sex, and I definitely worry they'd get attached. Also I'm far more experienced. Could I truly level the playing field tbh?
im litearlly 31 and would get attached to anyone i might fuck oxytocin is an addictive substance lmfao
I wish more people were this open about attachment 
especially women…fwb seldom works 
20
Posts: 28092
Date: 07-07-2021 00:03
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
heist wrote:
woah this is the one issue vp gets puritanical about lol

honestly my bigger objection is that they're your coworker tbh even if you're going to quit they're kind of like embedded in your current and maybe ongoing social circle which makes casual *** tricky 
Fortunately they are not embedded in my circle. Like I've said before I dont typically hang out with ppl that young. We developed a friendship by chance. So if we did hook up after I quit I dont think itd be an issue. 

I dated and moved in with a coworker (he was a year younger than me). The drama was terrible, especially since we broke up while still working together. Never again. 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 07-07-2021 00:06
Private
World Famous



Claire wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
Claire wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Well yeah look at onision, that was so clearly a groomer who trapped young girls in their late teens and abused them. 

My issue with acidreflux is not her concerns inasmuch as I think she is misrepresenting my intentions, such as assuming dependency. I only considered roommates because we both struggle financially and live with family for the time being, and they dont have a friend they could room with. The goal would be for us to get other living arrangements at the end of the lease, which we've discussed. I also was never set on it. I've considered rooming with a friend of mine who's like 33. I just thought itd be a way for triana to experience living on their own for the first time and build a rental history to gain future leverage for other apartments they'd be interested in. It's really hard to get a first place with zero credit and rental history, I wouldnt mind helping em gain independence. 

Or you know, assuming I'm looking for a romantic relationship, no matter how many times I tell them I'm not. Though like Barbarella said young people have difficulty processing emotions during sex, and I definitely worry they'd get attached. Also I'm far more experienced. Could I truly level the playing field tbh?
im litearlly 31 and would get attached to anyone i might fuck oxytocin is an addictive substance lmfao
I wish more people were this open about attachment 
especially women…fwb seldom works 
like chemically your brain does shit during sex that makes you wanna be near that person. but people think they can like logic their way out of those feelings which is kinda actually ironiccally irrational and not logical at all lol and some people can have fwb i guess but not as many people can as thinkk they can
21
Posts: 55745
Date: 07-07-2021 00:07
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