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Delusion1111111 wrote:
Lolinontot wrote:
I think you need to take a step back in this.
You're being so suspicious of him and not really giving him space to breathe.
Contacting him every day, asking him to call you all the time, telling him to pay more attention to you, seeing him at work everyday, constantly talking about your feelings, seemingly not trusting him when he tries to tell you that he loves you, to literally being jealous over how much time he spends with his friends and counting every weekend that you're not together. etc.
If I didn't know better - I'd think you were trying to be controlling.
And that would scare me. Especially if I'd been in a previously controlling relationship - like he has.
If I were him, I'd like to take my distance too, because he probably doesn't want to feel forced by himself to be with you, and now he has to apologise for wanting space without saying that he wants space.
He loves you, but I think you're overwhelming him with your unability to calm yourself down, and constant worry about what he's doing and obsessing over how he's feeling and obsessing over how you're feeling in regards to that .... You're kinda acting like aHelicopter Girlfriend!!!!
You don't even seem to have any faith in him, and you don't seem to have any faith in yourself either.
I'm not saying that he hasn't done things poorly either, like making plans with you and cancelling them on you, or like putting that girl in his instagram bio, or asking for money (which is something that you never should do in any relationship wether romantic or not, cuz that's one sure fire way to suffocate any relationship)
but here's also a thing - People who are cheating on their partner tend to be the one who accuses their partner of cheating, because they project their insecurity onto their partner. Which is one thing that you are kinda currently doing to him, you are making yourself very suspicious, and I think it has to do - again - with the possessive part: You're so insecure of him leaving you that you try to hang onto him, but you're doing it too tightly, darling - you are becoming a noose.
If I were him - I'd take that as a red flag from you.
If I were his friend - I would point that out to him.
I don't think you need to be as worried about this as you think you need.
I feel like he really could just use some space.
A boyfriend is a companion. Not a personal/emotional crutch. You both need to have your own time, and your own lives, and make some time to enjoy eachothers companionship. He shouldn't be carrying you, and you shouldn't be carrying him, atleast not all day every day. You can push eachother up and show eachother love but you need to be able to let eachother fly freely sometimes too. You can't just cage eachother and hope it get's better - that's unhealthy.
As much as I'd love for you to have a happy relationship - this one currently isn't it; for neither of you. The relationship is going to tear both of you apart at this rate.
The only way that I can see you and him fixing this is If you both take some time apart and think about yourselves for a bit, and If so - I think you should let him make contact instead of asking him where he is all the time. Just calm down a little.
terrible awful worthless advice
I think you need to take a step back in this.
You're being so suspicious of him and not really giving him space to breathe.
Contacting him every day, asking him to call you all the time, telling him to pay more attention to you, seeing him at work everyday, constantly talking about your feelings, seemingly not trusting him when he tries to tell you that he loves you, to literally being jealous over how much time he spends with his friends and counting every weekend that you're not together. etc.
If I didn't know better - I'd think you were trying to be controlling.
And that would scare me. Especially if I'd been in a previously controlling relationship - like he has.
If I were him, I'd like to take my distance too, because he probably doesn't want to feel forced by himself to be with you, and now he has to apologise for wanting space without saying that he wants space.
He loves you, but I think you're overwhelming him with your unability to calm yourself down, and constant worry about what he's doing and obsessing over how he's feeling and obsessing over how you're feeling in regards to that .... You're kinda acting like aHelicopter Girlfriend!!!!
You don't even seem to have any faith in him, and you don't seem to have any faith in yourself either.
I'm not saying that he hasn't done things poorly either, like making plans with you and cancelling them on you, or like putting that girl in his instagram bio, or asking for money (which is something that you never should do in any relationship wether romantic or not, cuz that's one sure fire way to suffocate any relationship)
but here's also a thing - People who are cheating on their partner tend to be the one who accuses their partner of cheating, because they project their insecurity onto their partner. Which is one thing that you are kinda currently doing to him, you are making yourself very suspicious, and I think it has to do - again - with the possessive part: You're so insecure of him leaving you that you try to hang onto him, but you're doing it too tightly, darling - you are becoming a noose.
If I were him - I'd take that as a red flag from you.
If I were his friend - I would point that out to him.
I don't think you need to be as worried about this as you think you need.
I feel like he really could just use some space.
A boyfriend is a companion. Not a personal/emotional crutch. You both need to have your own time, and your own lives, and make some time to enjoy eachothers companionship. He shouldn't be carrying you, and you shouldn't be carrying him, atleast not all day every day. You can push eachother up and show eachother love but you need to be able to let eachother fly freely sometimes too. You can't just cage eachother and hope it get's better - that's unhealthy.
As much as I'd love for you to have a happy relationship - this one currently isn't it; for neither of you. The relationship is going to tear both of you apart at this rate.
The only way that I can see you and him fixing this is If you both take some time apart and think about yourselves for a bit, and If so - I think you should let him make contact instead of asking him where he is all the time. Just calm down a little.
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