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breaking up
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
Versailles wrote:
When my ex broke up few months ago which im still recovering from - i hit the gym or just walk whenever thereā€™s nothing to do. Itā€™s so much better than stay in bed and suffer. Stay distracted, get busy. Organize at home, clean extra. Break up and withdrawal makes us idealize the person so much in a unrealistic way. Is there friends you can talk or chat to when itā€™s hard? Be open and talk, and try make plans. Small plans, treat yourself with new stuff. Heck thereā€™s so much to do and you got this!!!Ā 

Also make a list with all the shit he you didnt like abt him and when he did you dirty. Whenever you miss him go back to that list. Remember how you felt. Give yourself time to heal. Think always about whatā€™s the best you can do to yourself here and now. Never look back. Itā€™s ok to grieve but keep going. Itā€™s gonna be okay ā¤ļøšŸŒŗšŸŒ»
sorry to hear that you're going through a breakup as well. it really sucks! i hope you're doing ok thoĀ ā™”

i'm staying busy today, currently doing some laundry, i'll clean up my apartment a bit and then meal prep for the weekend bc i'm working 12h shifts all fucking weekend lol. fml. i don't have many friends hehe, i have one that i talk to almost every day and that poor thing has to watch me ugly cry on facetime regularly. but i'm thinking about hitting up 2 of my old friends. i really miss having girl friends...........

thank you so much u wonderful personĀ ā™”ā™”ā™”
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 16-09-2021 11:12
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
yeah did my laundry, some LIGHT cleaning up (like only putting the trash laying around in the bin lol) might clean the bathroom later. and made dinner. sesame chicken. didn't turn out quite how i wanted it but whatever, it's food lol. made enough for 2 more dinners so i have for the weekend. so that's good. i wanna do that more bc the food i make at work is PACKED with fat, since i cook for the elderly and their bodies don't take up all the shit in food the same way. so they need nutrition explosions to not lose weight and get malnourished lol, i'm 25 and that food makes me overnourished........

it's raining, would've loved to take a walk if it didn't. might idk do some exercise bs at home bc i really wanna get more in shape. i want to go back to how i looked like 1-1Ā½ years ago, i felt happier w that. whatever. tonight i think i'm gonna watch a movie or smth
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 16-09-2021 17:59
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
lmao i just hammered up my tapestry that i've had for A YEAR. not gotten it up until now !!!!!
put it over my sofa, and put my fairy lights around it. living my tumblr dream at last

my dad's gonna cry when he sees this bc i've probably done smth wrong. like idek how the fuck you take the nails out of the wall LOL omg. but that's dad's future problemĀ šŸ˜ŒšŸ˜ŒšŸ˜ŒšŸ˜ŒšŸ˜Œ
i am going thru something ok dad !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 16-09-2021 20:14
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
oh man i just wrote in my diary for the first time in over a year
cuz i started writing like summer of 2019 and stopped like spring/mid 2020 somewhere. but i wrote a few pages last september, a little update, where i wrote i'd gotten together with boyfriend and how amazing he was etc. fuuuuuuuck.

anyways, what i'm trying to get to is...... i have the TIME for writing in my diary now. wow. bc i like doing so, i like writing down my feelings and what has happened and i love reading it later on. and in 10 years from now it's probably gonna be so fun to read.
and it made me realize how much free time i actually have now. no fucking shit work has felt exhausting as ALL hell when i've never been able to get inner peace and just breathe for a while. i loved being with my boyfriend, don't get me wrong, i absolutely loved it. but i never had time for ME and only me. whenever i was alone (well first off i had to plan/decide when i was seeing him next and what we'd do and what we'd eat etc) i didn't do anything "giving" bc i literally just tried getting some rest. bc i was so exhausted by everything all the time.
my job IS extremely exhausting and heavy, so not saying it has appeared worse than it is. it's still equally bad as before. but it has made a difference getting all this time to myself now. when i can both physically and mentally rest between shifts, not have to think of someone else constantly.
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 17-09-2021 12:47
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
God he just sent me a long text and it made me ultra sad

I've felt weird tonight, I kept thinking of him A LOT. And when I went to bed I kept looking at my phone whenever I got notifications bc I thought it was him. And it wasn't, but... then it was. I had just fallen asleep but the notification woke me up and it was him.
I feel fucking horrible I can't do this tonight I'm going up in 5h to go to my 12h shift
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 18-09-2021 00:17
Private
World Famous



Claire wrote:
you should block him you need space
21
Posts: 55751
Date: 18-09-2021 00:22
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
Claire wrote:
you should block him you need space
i cant do that. idk why but i cant
im too sappy for blocking people
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 18-09-2021 05:51
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
"I still don't understand really. It's hard rewiring the brain in one second and forget over a year of your life.Ā 
You had the time to mentally prepare, and it was you who wanted to get rid of me. So I'm sure you felt a big relief. But what was it that was so bad that you wanted to instantly ditch me? We talked about that, after that chaos week this winter, to bring up things before it's too late. I think that's why I'm extra shocked.
If you've been together for so long as we were it's really strange to one morning just say "thank you and bye", you know. Too long of a relationship to just cut ties without warning if there's not a reason for it. What have I done to make you not want anything to do with me?
I think I've asked you this before, but do you know what this type of thing does to your brain?

I'm not crawling after you and beg that you'd take me back.
As I said, I'm having a hard time understanding what the fuck actually happened. I don't get it... And don't you wonder how I'm doing, or is it like I was some tumor you needed to cut off and forget about quickly?
That's one of the reasons I wrote this. I'm not mad, I'm just confused. And I still can't get what happened, you know."

pls i have wondered every single day how he's doing but i've not asked bc i want to give him space :------( it's not gonna make anything better for him if i keep contacting him like that, even if it's just checking up on him.Ā 
anyways... i'm gonna figure out a response to this before i have to leave for work. don't think that i can. so he'll have to wait until tonight to get a response. i hope he remembers that it's my work weekend
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 18-09-2021 05:59
BunnyButts
International Star



BunnyButts wrote:
You really need to block him it's not good for u or himĀ 
20
Posts: 22712
Date: 18-09-2021 06:35
BunnyButts
International Star



BunnyButts wrote:
Also don't respond he's just going to take it as a sign that he can continue to guilt trip u and manipulate youĀ 
20
Posts: 22712
Date: 18-09-2021 06:40
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
BunnyButts wrote:
Also don't respond he's just going to take it as a sign that he can continue to guilt trip u and manipulate youĀ 
But I haven't given him like an explanation or anything.... I guess i don't owe him one but I feel like such a bitch. I couldn't imagine myself to get dumped and then not get any explanation as to why.Ā 
But I don't really know what reason to give either. I feel like I can't be completely honest about it all, like the irritation moments or that my feelings for him went a bit cold (still loved him to death but I stopped being as in love with him). I've thought about telling him that I just needed to be alone. Like truly alone alone. Because that's the truth, even if it's not the entire truth. But that feels dumb like "hey actually I wanted to be alone so I dumped you" ugh
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 18-09-2021 07:20
Private
International Star



kanelie wrote:
cobain wrote:
BunnyButts wrote:
Also don't respond he's just going to take it as a sign that he can continue to guilt trip u and manipulate youĀ 
But I haven't given him like an explanation or anything.... I guess i don't owe him one but I feel like such a bitch. I couldn't imagine myself to get dumped and then not get any explanation as to why.Ā 
But I don't really know what reason to give either. I feel like I can't be completely honest about it all, like the irritation moments or that my feelings for him went a bit cold (still loved him to death but I stopped being as in love with him). I've thought about telling him that I just needed to be alone. Like truly alone alone. Because that's the truth, even if it's not the entire truth. But that feels dumb like "hey actually I wanted to be alone so I dumped you" ugh
you really don't need a reason for that. i don't understand why does he keep whining, it doesn't matter what is the reason if someone wants to break up with you. it should be enough information itself :d

if someone doesn't want to be with you, they don't want to be with you. why make it complicated when its not
17
Posts: 3230
Date: 18-09-2021 07:53
Private
National Star



Miguel wrote:
actually if he doesnt even get the reason why when its plain obvious that he knows, then he already is showing how little he cared abt ur relationship
honestly, even if u feel a bit scared or weird abt blocking ppl, i think its not going 2 be good 4 u to keep interacting w him. u need time to heal and move on
15
Posts: 2744
Date: 18-09-2021 08:17
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
I'm so fucking gone in the head I just realised I came too early to work this morning. I've never started at that time on weekends but my head is just elsewhere today

Anyways... I am gonna answer him when I quit. So I have the rest of the day to plan what I'll write. It just feels like the most decent thing to say something. I don't want to hurt him more, and I don't want it to end on very bad terms. I feel sick
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 18-09-2021 09:44
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
And we haven't spoken in since the day after our breakup. I doubt this is gonna spark a conversation between us, we both need space and we both know that. We have some unfinished business, it's just that. And we still have stuff at each others places. I don't think it's anything very important tho except for his key that I have. I have his TV but he asked me if I wanted to buy it so I'll do that, it's easier. He has 2 shirts at my place but I've had them for ages and he doesn't use them so I doubt he's very eager to get them back. I think I have a moisturiser, a milk whisk thingy and possibly a dress at his, and set of bed sheets, but I don't need any of it backĀ 
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 18-09-2021 09:48
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