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breaking up
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
This day really sucks major ass. I just got my period and I don't have any tampons or pain killers with me, I have pms as fuck and like try working with dementia patients who are annoying as fuck when u just wanna scream and cry
And this whole situation on top of that. I'm gonna have a meltdown any second
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 18-09-2021 14:01
Private
National star



absintjente wrote:
i just wanna say im rly proud of you. it sucks, and it hurts. but this was for the best. give yourself time and space to be sad - thats allowed.
21
Posts: 12685
Date: 18-09-2021 14:25
BunnyButts
International star



BunnyButts wrote:
cobain wrote:
BunnyButts wrote:
Also don't respond he's just going to take it as a sign that he can continue to guilt trip u and manipulate you 
But I haven't given him like an explanation or anything.... I guess i don't owe him one but I feel like such a bitch. I couldn't imagine myself to get dumped and then not get any explanation as to why. 
But I don't really know what reason to give either. I feel like I can't be completely honest about it all, like the irritation moments or that my feelings for him went a bit cold (still loved him to death but I stopped being as in love with him). I've thought about telling him that I just needed to be alone. Like truly alone alone. Because that's the truth, even if it's not the entire truth. But that feels dumb like "hey actually I wanted to be alone so I dumped you" ugh
you never need a reason to break up with someone it wasn't working between u two and that's that seriously just kick him out if ur life it's clearly hurting u
20
Posts: 22670
Date: 18-09-2021 15:28
Private
Popstar



Rouya wrote:
honestly one year is really not that long of a relationship, i think he's really exaggerating the situation. you have obviously tried your best to make it work, it sounds like it hasnt worked at all for a very long time, and spending more than half of the relationship being miserable just isn't something anyone should put up with. i dont think you should answer him, i think you need space as everyone else says as well, but do what you feel is right - just remember, you dont owe him anything, however you owe it to yourself to start prioritizing your own needs over his and taking care of yourself. stop thinking about what's "decent" and whether youre hurting him - HE is hurting YOU.
22
Posts: 9159
Date: 18-09-2021 15:52
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
with some guidance and adivce from a friend i ended up writing

"I don't want you to think I've pretended or that this has been easy for me. I understand you're confused, I probably would've been too.
I needed to do this for my own sake. I've said that before, but really, I needed to put me and my needs first. The more time has passed the more I've felt that I need to be alone for real. Like, take care of myself and only myself, think of me and only me. The days I spent alone wasn't enough. Because I was never really alone for real. It's hard to explain because I can't really put my finger on it myself, but that I want and need to be alone is the main thing here. It also didn't feel right to continue when I no longer saw a future with us two. I hate saying that, it feels fucking horrible. But it wouldn't be right to neither of us to continue then.
I've been sad and I've missed you a lot these 2 weeks, but at the same time I have felt that this was the right decision now that I've been able to be independent. This is what I need, sadly.
I have wondered every single day how you are and how you're holding up, but I didn't want to ask because I wanted to give you space. But trust me, I have thought of you SO much and wondered.
It IS hard to rewire your brain. Really fucking hard even. But you have to give it time, both of us have to give it time. And I don't want to forget this year. It has been so fucking beautiful, I hope you know that."

like idk if this was good in any way, maybe it's gonna become chaotic as fuck
i just want him to be okay but i know that no matter what i say he won't be ok. only time is needed
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 18-09-2021 19:45
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
also many kisses and hugs to all of u
vp is getting me through another breakup lol i love u guys 
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 18-09-2021 19:49
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
now i'm sad again bc he replied

"You could have talked to me about this earlier. That you needed to feel more independent. Maybe we could have come up with something that worked. And if it hadn't worked then we could've broken up then. Or taken a break. Even if you feel like it's gonna lead to a breakup for real, it makes that decision less dramatic and not shocking. Or you notice that you still want to be with each other, in some way. All relationships don't need to follow the same outline.
I don't know why I'm writing this, I think you stopped caring a long time ago. And I don't think you understand, not at all, what a fucking mindfuck all of this was for me. And that's what I'm never going to understand, how you could do this to me.
Relationships end... Nothing to say about that. That's not what I mean.
I don't know what I'm trying to explain. Whatever.
Seriously... Whatever. Some day you will understand what I mean. But everything's already ruined so.. Yeah I don't know why I'm trying. I'm not feeling well now, so right now I don't give a shit about all of this anyways"
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 18-09-2021 20:36
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
i replied 

"I still fucking care. Don't think so badly of me. I understand you're hurt, but I'm still the same person. I haven't turned into an insensitive cunt overnight. I have never wanted to hurt you.
I really hope you'll feel better soon ***. You deserve to feel good. I want you to feel good. But allow it to hurt for a while. It's allowed to suck. Because it does. Let friends and family support you, it's needed. And take care of yourself properly, that's also important"

and as soon as i sent it i got this
so we sent it at the same time more or less

"If you had only trusted me that I understood how important it is to you to be independent... If you only would've had the guts to talk to me about it when you started to feel like you needed a change... If you only would've believed me every time I said I respect you and your needs, as long as I don't have to guess what they are. If you only would've done that Sofie, I promise you would have been surprised over how understanding I would've been. That I actually meant what I said.
Instead I was the one who got surprised, I thought you actually trusted me and that you would've told me before it came to this"

i feel so fucking abd
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 18-09-2021 21:38
Private
Popstar



Rouya wrote:
he's just guilt tripping you at this point. dont doubt your emotions and gut feelings, please. just let him be. there's nothing you can do to help him feel better, he's just dumping all of his shitty feelings onto you and you're allowing him to do so. he says "one day you will understand" but i think the problem is that he is the one not understanding. he doesn't get how much you've done for him, how much you've prioritized him and how you have put him first over yourself a lot of the time. he hasn't done that for you, from what i have gathered, and now he's guilt tripping you for breaking up with him in a way that also didnt suit his needs.

please, for your own sake, start putting yourself first
22
Posts: 9159
Date: 18-09-2021 23:37 | Times changed: 1
Private
World famous



Hufsa wrote:
Rouya wrote:
he's just guilt tripping you at this point. dont doubt your emotions and gut feelings, please. just let him be. there's nothing you can do to help him feel better, he's just dumping all of his shitty feelings onto you and you're allowing him to do so. he says "one day you will understand" but i think the problem is that he is the one not understanding. he doesn't get how much you've done for him, how much you've prioritized him and how you have put him first over yourself a lot of the time. he hasn't done that for you, from what i have gathered, and now he's guilt tripping you for breaking up with him in a way that also didnt suit his needs.

please, for your own sake, start putting yourself first
^^^
20
Posts: 1812
Date: 18-09-2021 23:51
BunnyButts
International star



BunnyButts wrote:
Im here for u please dont let this man hurt you further 
20
Posts: 22670
Date: 19-09-2021 03:56
Private
National star



Miguel wrote:
gotta r emind u he fucked u up not the way around n that hes guilt trippin u into feelin like ur a shit person
fuck him honestly
15
Posts: 2227
Date: 19-09-2021 12:24
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