MissLondon wrote:
I'm ashamed of not being there for someone/not telling them goodbye.
I was fresh out of school and it was my first nursing job. Working oncology, there are patients that you see/treat frequently and unless you're dead inside, you do care about them.
Mrs E was one of those blessed with the charm that sucks people in. Everybody loved her and no matter where I was assigned, if she was on the floor, I didn't leave without stopping to chat and say hello.
Over the course of months of treatments, I got to know her pretty well. When things took a turn for the worse, I began to distance myself because I was afraid... and I thought I had to be the ultimate professional... controlled and no tears. When her time was near, and she was still conscious, everyone made their way in to say goodbye but I didn't.
I suppose it was a coping mechanism at the time but it doesn't make me feel any better.