I've had issues with my body since forever. My back pain started at eleven and after that there's been a spiral down to semi-chronic pain in my back, knees and joints overall. I was fairly active in the stable, riding and taking care of all the chores that comes with horses up until a few years ago. My body simply couldn't handle the work, especially not in the colder months. While my pain hasn't been chronic, at this point a few years ago it was affecting me daily as I work in a café and I'm on my feet all day long. 

I went to a physiotherapist, got some answers to my back and shoulder pain, and some exercises to make me better aligned. But I was lazy, and when I didn't get the results I wanted I simply stopped doing the exercises. Leaving me still in pain. 

The thing with chronic/semi-chronic pain, you learn to live with it. Yes it's uncomfortable, some days even unbearable, but you still power through. You do what you can to shift or ease the pain. So that's what I've done, accepted it and ignored it, until a few weeks ago. 

I was so sick of feeling weak, tired, pain. You name it. So five (ish) weeks ago I said "fuck it, i'll start going to the gym". I've gone to the gym on and off for years, but I've never had a workout plan, my diet has been awful and I've not really put any effort into it. But that's changed now! This week will be my fourth week where I've consistently gone to the gym 3x/week, I've gone there with a plan, knowing what exercises I'm going to do. Granted I'm not an expert, I'm really shy at the gym and try to just stick to my own little corner. Still, going there, working on my techniques, actually putting thought into my movements and my routine, it's been highly rewarding even though I'm just getting started. 

Right now I'm doing 1-2 upper body workouts and 1 lower body workout each week, if I'm not doing the second upper body day then I'm going core. It's been challenging for sure, trying to navigate work and chores at home while finding the time and energy to go to the gym, and eating properly. Oh my gosh. Anyone who knows me know that I despise cooking. It's literally the worst thing in the world, so always having to have good, nutritious food at home, ready to consume after a workout is tough. 

On the days I don't work out I still have a pretty shitty diet. I wouldn't even call it a diet to be fair. I don't restrict any foods because if I limit myself on things I enjoy, I'll just forget to eat at all and I'll live on sandwiches and yoghurt. Or cup noodles. So for now I eat anything and everything. Progress and health isn't something that happens quickly or that you can just change in a week, or four weeks for that matter. My priority at this moment is to continue working out 3x/week, and when I feel ready, my goal is to bump it up to 4x/week. When I'm comfortable with that and it's become more of a habit, then I might focus on the diet. Who knows. 

I mentioned that these four weeks of working out have been highly rewarding. I didn't think I'd feel any different this quickly, but I've noticed I can handle my long work days on my feet much better now than I did before. Earlier my back would start hurting 3-4 hours into my shift, now I'm working full 8-9 hour days and my back's not in pain at all. I still have some joint pain and my knees are still a mess at times, but that's kind of depending on the weather and temperature so I'm not sure how that'll get fixed. Either way, I'm going to focus on building strength, treating my body the way it deserves and hopefully, one day I'll be pain free!

oh the irony... as I'm sitting here finishing up this blog, my knee started to hurt from sitting in a draft