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| I am supposed to write something here, and honestly I was tempted to write a very long text about how sorry I feel for myself but I'm fully capable of bringing that up at any chance otherwise so why waste my material somewhere people can choose to ignore it? At this stage, most of us is probably pretty tired of the pandemic. I think I am? If I'm being honest I don't really know for certain, but I suspect it is a factor here. It is hard to find motivation to do what you have to do when you cannot even remotely imagine what the future will look like. Living in the now when the now is like it is is not very tempting, and it is very limited. Not that my life has changed much, and certainly not for the worse (ignoring my health), options are nice. I would probably choose to live like I am, but I want it to be a choice and not forced. I don't like when others tell me what I should do, what I have to do. I do what I want in the pace I want to do it on my own accords, always. Input is welcome, but I'm likely going to ignore it. It is my life and I want to be in charge of how I live it, and we cannot even do that now. We just have to sit here and accept the endless incompetence and ignorance. People are seemingly becoming more and more stupid, I'm sorry son, but if vaccinating people is going to work, we have to vaccinate everyone globally as soon as possible. We cannot just be like ah yes the rich and fortunate get the vaccines the others can wait, the virus isn't going to wait. It'll mutate, it is mutating, all the time. When we wait it's just giving it a chance to mutate into something the vaccines cannot deal with. People need to realise how globalised the world has become, we can no longer sit ignorant and be like suffering in x doesn't affect me because I live in y. It will affect you in some way or another. It is honestly draining to look at this. I used to read the news constantly and now it is like I have reached peak numbness, I cannot care. I am physically incapable of caring. It is just there, it is always the same. Nothing interesting, it's just dull. The numbers of people that has been vaccinated, contracted the virus or died are now nothing but numbers. What they intend on saying with them is just uninteresting. I wonder if that's the general opinion these days. Too much of the same misery in the world, it no longer means anything, it is no longer surprising or shocking. It is just there. Knowing or not knowing about it seems meaningless, it doesn't change anything. For the record, no, I'm not depressed. I'm fine, in general I'm happier now than I have ever been. But I'm tired of the constant shit show. There is a limit to how much shit we are able to deal with before we become numb to it. So why does media keep throwing it in our faces, are we meant to not care? Is there some kind of sick hidden agenda to just make us all sit like "whatever" at all the misery? One can certainly wonder. It is also alarming how much trivial differences suddenly means everything, there's this rift between people. We are all humans regardless of how fucked up we are, our opinions or whatever, fundamentally more things unite us than separate us. Yet here we are, at this stage it isn't surprising if it all spirals into the biggest shit show in known human history. And for what? Who is profiting on this? Why aren't anyone trying to do something? Why do we keep being so focused on extremely specific topics so we become completely blindsided with the rest? Caring is not a bad thing, but you cannot possibly care about all things at once. Why do people seem to only commit to one thing? This is just rambling at this stage, but I just need to do this. It's either like the environment is everything, money is everything, progress (extremely vague) is everything, freedom of speech is everything, human rights is everything, stopping racism is everything, feminism is everything, protecting culture and customs is everything.. Why though? Why does everything keep repeating itself? It's ridiculous with all the people going around like ah yes we must never forget like okay but what were you not supposed to forget. You have forgotten it, we all have. There is just so many things now that's bad. Not that it has been better before, not as we know. Glorifying aspects of the past is not going to be helpful in moving forward. But moving forward without a goal is meaningless. There has to be a goal, but who decided what it was? Is it just profit? And what is up with the algorithm? |
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